Ride The Wave

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, NLT)

“A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.” (Proverbs 17:17, NLT)

Have you ever had one of those friends where, no matter how much time has passed, you simply pick up where you left off?

Around forty, I went through what I’d call a quiet midlife crisis. It wasn’t dramatic; it was more like an unraveling of certainty about who I was and where my life was headed. What carried me through wasn’t one constant companion. It was a handful of people God seemed to send at exactly the right moments.

One was my friend Randy. He’s well beyond the age most people would imagine surfing (Sorry Randy, you’re still in great shape for your age), but I’ve always thought of him as a surfer friend. Surfer friends ride into our lives on the right wave, at the right time, bringing exactly what we need before the current carries them into a different season. They’re divinely rhythmic. I also think of a pastor who mentored me through an important chapter. Interestingly enough, it wasn’t on an ocean but on the Big Horn River in Montana where he spoke words that anchored my soul. Turns out, surfer friends don’t always need ocean waves. Sometimes God sends them floating down a river at exactly the right time! And we ought to be okay when they drift away.

Surfer relationships aren’t lesser friendships because they don’t last forever. They were exactly the friendships I needed.

We often measure friendships by longevity, assuming the best relationships are the ones that last the longest. Scripture paints a different picture. Ecclesiastes reminds us, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, NIV). If God has ordained seasons for joy and sorrow, planting and harvesting, speaking and remaining silent, why would friendship be any different?

Not every meaningful friendship is meant to become permanent.

I once had a friendship that fractured and never became what I hoped it would be again. For years, I viewed that as proof I had failed. Looking back, I see something different. Some friendships are providential rather than permanent. God uses them to shape us in one chapter before writing a new one.

That doesn’t diminish what they meant.

Proverbs says, “A friend loves at all times” (Proverbs 17:17, NIV). That verse isn’t measured by the length of a friendship but by the faithfulness expressed within it. A friendship can be wholehearted for a season and still fulfill God’s purpose.

Today, think about someone God brought into your life at just the right moment. Instead of grieving that the relationship changed, thank Him for the gift of that season.

Then ask yourself another question: Is there someone God is inviting you to be a surfer friend to right now? Someone who doesn’t need you forever but simply needs you today?

Don’t spend your life waiting for permanent friendships that may never come. Learn to recognize the waves God sends. Read the wave. Trust the timing. And when He invites you, paddle out in full obedience.