A Simple Thank You

A Simple Thank You

T. Suzanne Eller

My girls once accused me of being the worst when it came to accepting a compliment.

“Mom, you look pretty today.”

“Thanks, babe,” I’d reply. “You’re kind to say that when my hair is kind of crazy.”

Or I’d give them the You’re just saying that look.

Some might say it was self-effacing. Maybe even humble. But it wasn’t either. It was a bad habit, one that sent a not-so-great message to my two beautiful daughters.

One day I heard my daughter do the same thing and it stopped me in my tracks. She was beautiful. Intelligent. Insightful. How could she turn a compliment into a negative?

Oh, yeah. She’d heard me do it.

From that day on, I made a conscious effort to change my words. And I began to listen to conversations among friends, women who were strong and beautiful. The conversations went something like this:

“Love those shoes.” “Oh, these? Bought them on sale. Cheap as dirt.”

“You did a great job on that lesson.” “I was so nervous. Couldn’t you tell?”

“You look nice.” “Do you see this blemish? Right on my nose!”

Like a game of ping-pong, we often negate the good, bringing it down a notch … or two or three.

Saying thank you is a form of gratitude. Sure, it’s acknowledging a compliment, but it’s also accepting the thoughtful words of the person who spoke them.

But can we take this deeper?

Research shows a girl’s self-worth takes a nosedive after the age of nine. It would be easy to point to a host of other factors, but what about us? What do our daughters and the other young women we influence hear us saying?

When someone offers a sincere compliment, what is your response? When someone acknowledges a trait they value in you, do you point out things you wish you could change about yourself?

It’s been years since my daughters’ words made me stop and think. They are grown and they are beautiful, but what I love best about them is the women they have become. I tell them often.

You are beautiful. I see God in you. I love the way you love others. And they simply say, “Thank you.”

The next time someone gives you a compliment—whether it’s as simple as, “Mom, those were great pancakes” or as kind as, “You’re always so thoughtful”—receive it. You might want to point out the messy kitchen, or your bed head, or your not-so-gracious attitude instead, but someone sees something he or she likes in you and that’s a gift.

Say it with me: Thank you.

Dear Lord, when someone stops long enough to say something kind, help me offer a gracious reply. Help my words lift up those around me too. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

REMEMBER

There is a difference between self-deprecation and humility. One belittles who you are, while the other offers gracious security in Whose you are.

REFLECT

When someone gives you a compliment, how do you typically respond?

RESPOND

Make a pact with a friend or loved one to respond with a simple thank you to every compliment you receive today.

POWER VERSES

Proverbs 25:11; Colossians 4:6