On The Other Side

“We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.” (Hebrews 12:2-3, NLT)

I pulled my car into the Target parking lot. I could no longer see the road through my tears and I needed to get off the road. I had just left another doctor appointment with another diagnosed miscarriage. This would make miscarriage number three; we would go on to lose three more babies in miscarriage.

I beat my hands hard against the steering wheel. Hot tears and guttural cries left my body like blood from an open wound. Questions flew out of my mouth like angry darts at a cosmic dart board, always missing the bullseye. Questions I knew I may never get the answers to. Questions I knew I would have to wrestle with until the end of my days. But that didn’t stop me from laying them all at the feet of the only One I knew that could handle them.

It’s been about seven years since our last miscarriage and I still don’t have all the answers to those questions I asked in the Target parking lot that day. But I’ve learned that focusing on my pain is a fast track to bitterness. The only encouragement in my weariness is to turn my eyes upon Jesus.

We look to Jesus because in our suffering He sees what our mortal eyes do not perceive. He sees the storehouses of faith that will be built, the supernatural comfort that we will experience and extend, the dependence that we will grow to rejoice in and the little miracles we will witness along the way.

The cross was a disgraceful and horrific death befitting for a criminal; there was nothing good about it. In His humanity Jesus asked the Father if this cup of suffering could pass from Him while surrendering His will for God’s. He despised the shame of what was to come:

• False accusations meant to discredit His ministry.
• Vulgar mocking as He surrendered to His assailants.
• Brutal beatings intended to inch Him closer to death.
• An offensive crown of thorns slandering His claim as King.
• A humiliating death on a cross, casting a wrathful darkness over the city He loved.

The cross was not a joy. Considering how Christ suffered does not mean we ignore the realities of our pain. The joy that lay before Jesus was the glory that God would receive in His suffering and the victory He would win on our behalf. Jesus knew the joy on the other side of His sacrifice because the fullness of God rests on Him. When we fix our eyes on Christ’s example, we are looking at the One who willingly endured an excruciating death because He knew the joy of our salvation was worth every stripe.

Christ’s suffering far outweighs any earthly loss or hardship, which makes His patient endurance the picture we look to in our own suffering.

Fixing our eyes on the example of Christ won’t magically give us the answers in our suffering. However, fixing our eyes on the example of Christ does give us strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow.

On my weariest days when I am closest to giving up, I look full in the wonderful face of Jesus. I look to Him because He is my suffering Savior and not an inch of my pain is hidden from Him. Jesus does not ask more of us than He willingly endured. He models for us a strength to persevere in our worst-case scenarios without totally ignoring how we feel about them. He invites us to look away from the world and unto the One whose gaze never leaves us.

Prayer: When I think of all that you endured leading up to the cross, I confess that I can hardly comprehend Your suffering. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in my own circumstances and find myself discouraged and wanting to quit. Help me to lift my head above my circumstances, my questions, my doubts and my pain and fix my eyes on You. Teach my heart to meditate on who You are and worship you in every moment. Will you minister to my heart with the truth that you see me and you are inviting me to a life of patient endurance? Thank you for your example to bring our pain to God while surrendering our will for His. I praise you, for your steadfast love endures forever!