Trusting God In Singleness

Reflect on God’s Word

Every Hallmark movie ever made ends with either a wedding, or, at the very least, a proposal. Shows like The Bachelor and Married at First Sight glamorize getting married. In a culture inundated with the noise of romance, it can be easy to get bogged down in the loneliness you feel about being single.

For many, the most painful part of singleness is loneliness—a feeling that’s amplified the more you see others together. It can leave you feeling left out, unloved, isolated, or like there’s something wrong with you. It can be soul wearying.

How do you process loneliness when being alone is your current reality?

King Solomon teaches on the beauty of community when he writes in Ecclesiastes 4:9–12,

Two are better than one,

because they have a good return for their

labor:

If either of them falls down,

one can help the other up.

But pity anyone who falls

and has no one to help them up.

Also, if two lie down together, they will

keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,

two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

This passage paints a powerful picture. Singleness doesn’t mean you escape community. Even without a spouse, you still need people. Instead of letting loneliness send you into a spiral of disappointment or sadness, let it be an opportunity for you to engage with God and community. Even though you may not be married, you weren’t designed to be alone.

The pull to be married can be very strong. So what do you do with that desire if there doesn’t seem to be hope for it on the horizon? How do you keep walking with Jesus if disappointment weighs you down?

Consider where you can engage with other people. Churches can be great places to live life with others. Yes, often there is an emphasis on couples and families, so you might need to work a little harder. But even becoming involved in family life can be beneficial. Consider offering to babysit or take kids to the park. Volunteer with the elderly or shut-ins.

Scripture also commands us to rejoice with those who rejoice (Romans 12:15). When friends around you are dating and getting married, rejoice with them. It may feel like you’re putting on a facade, so talk to God about it. Ask him to give you a heart of love for those around you who are celebrating.

Even though singleness might be your current reality, you are not left alone. Allow the presence of God to meet you in your loneliness. Let his nearness sustain you and bring you courage. Trust that God has a good plan for you. Proverbs 3:5–6 assures us that if we trust him, he will show us the way: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Release Your Loneliness

Let the distractions fade away and allow yourself to be fully present in this moment. Ask God to make you sensitive to his presence, even in your loneliness. Appreciate the silence that gives you a chance to encounter God.

Take a deep breath in through your nose, and slowly let it out through your mouth. As you continue to sit quietly in God’s presence, let his nearness be a comforting reminder that you are not alone.

Acknowledge any disappointment or sadness you may feel from the loneliness of being single. Confess to God where you have distrusted his goodness or tried to take control of your situation by pursuing relationships that are not healthy just so you could have companionship. Thank God for his faithfulness to forgive and ask him to restore where you feel inadequate and alone.

Ask yourself these questions: How have you seen companionship and friendship help you to succeed? How can you be a companion to other single friends who might be prone to isolate?

Instead of sinking into loneliness, allow this to be an opportunity to pursue community with those around you.

Consider how you might engage in your feelings of loneliness today so they will lead you into communion with Christ. Remember that he is near to you, he cares for you, and he is available to you at any moment. Let your feelings of loneliness find comfort in him as you trust him to show you your community.

God, these feelings of loneliness can be overwhelming, and it’s easy for me to isolate. Help me to use this season to grow deeper in my relationship with you and to build community with others. Give me courage when things seem hard. Show me how to truly love others so I can rejoice with them. I didn’t want this season of singleness, and the loneliness I feel is painful, but I know you love me and that you have a good plan for me. I want to use this as an opportunity to depend on you. Help me to be strong and courageous. It’s in the precious name of Jesus that I pray, amen.

JOURNAL PROMPT: What are some steps you can take to engage in community? Determine to follow through on one of them this week.