Alone But Not Lonely

Reflect on God’s Word

Is it hard for you to be alone? Do feelings of loneliness dominate your time by yourself? Being alone does not always mean feeling lonely. That’s not to say that you need to deny your feelings of loneliness. God wants you to bring your cares to him. But when these feelings and thoughts take over your waking hours, you can feel constantly weighed down by them. It is true that when we spend a lot of time alone, we can more easily begin to feel unloved. And because we are created in the image of a triune God and are therefore made for community, when we spend a lot of time alone, loneliness can overtake us. But that doesn’t have to be the case.

God invites us to trust him with our time and with our relationships. Jeremiah 29:11 is often quoted to reassure people going through a hard time: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” The next time you feel lonely, remind yourself of this verse. Cast your loneliness on him and trust that he knows your future, and that he has good plans for you. He wants you to trust him fully, even when you don’t know what’s ahead.

God encourages us to learn to spend time alone with him. He wants us to take time alone to care for ourselves by getting rest, participating in self-care activities like exercise, or learning about something that interests us. Times of being alone do not have to be boring and lonely. They can be soul-nurturing, body-invigorating, and mind-stimulating.

One of the ways we can nurture our souls is by turning our focus toward God. Do you regularly make time to spend with God? Books, podcasts, videos of sermons or talks, and Bible-reading plans are all resources that can help turn your eyes upon Jesus instead of your feelings of loneliness.

Self-care may look like getting more exercise, investing time in eating healthier, or reading a good book. What are some things that make you laugh? According to the Mayo Clinic, laughter can improve your immune system, relieve pain, increase personal satisfaction, and improve your mood.^*

Stimulating your mind can take many forms. What subjects are you curious about? Is there a hobby like gardening or painting you can explore? Maybe you’re good at sudoku or crossword puzzles. Not only can these activities keep your mind active, but according to Alzheimer’s Society, brain training may also help stave off diseases like dementia.^*

It’s often true that the hardest and loneliest seasons in life are also the richest seasons. When all is dark, you become more attuned to moments of light. Whether you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert, you can find refreshment from spending time alone.

Release Your Loneliness

Revel in this moment to invest in your relationship with God. This time is yours and the Lord’s. Slow your breathing and rest your hands in your lap. Sit in a position that lets you feel relaxed. Sit with your feet flat on the floor and back straight, then take a few deep breaths.

Picture yourself sitting alone in a room full of people. What feelings come to your heart? Tell God about each one of them. Explore why you might be feeling those things. Feel the touch of God’s hand of love on your head as you talk to him.

Now, listen to his words to you: “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest” (Mark 6:31).

The world is seemingly run by extroverts. Every commercial you see shows a large group of people having fun together, or even a small group of friends enjoying one another’s company. It can give you the impression that being alone is bad. But in a harried world, being alone can be a gift.

The best thing you can do for your relationships, your work, and your own development is to cultivate a pattern of spending time alone with the Lord. During those moments he will renew you and guide you through the next steps of your life. You can trust in what he has planned for you. Make spending time alone with God a protected part of your daily routine.

And then consider how you can nurture your body and your mind. Is there a class you can sign up for? A podcast you can subscribe to? A cooking channel you can start watching?

Resist the temptation to think that because these things are not overtly spiritual that they are not worthwhile. Body, mind, and soul work together, just as Deuteronomy 6:5 instructs and Jesus reiterates in Matthew 22:37: “Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.”

Gracious heavenly Father, I know I can trust you. Give me the courage to pursue you and take care of myself whenever feelings of loneliness weigh me down. Give me peace in spending time alone, with the knowledge that you are always there. Help me rest well, not in self-indulgence but in self-care that will renew me to pursue whatever future you have for me. Help me to trust you with my time today, to do things that will benefit my soul, my body, and my mind. Thank you for your guidance. In the holy name of Jesus I pray, amen.

JOURNAL PROMPT: What are some things you can do to nurture your relationship with God during times when you are alone? What are some activities you can do to take care of yourself?