Keeping Anger From Making A Home In Your Heart

Reflect on God’s Word

Several years ago, a Georgia woman drove by the home she was selling just to say goodbye to it. Instead, she was shocked to find that someone else had moved in! Another family said they found the house for rent on a local website, signed electronic documents, wired money to someone, and moved in. And despite what the legal owner said, they weren’t planning on leaving anytime soon.^*

Maybe you feel that way about your anger. You don’t want it to be there, but somehow it has taken up residence in your heart, and you are filled with chaos instead of peace.

Ecclesiastes 7:9 says, “Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.”

That’s a short verse filled with power. Some translations render the word resides as lodges. Picture what that means. Can you see anger making a home in your heart? It would love to take up permanent residence, set up a mailbox, and start redecorating.

When anger resides in your house, it leaves its mess wherever it goes. It leaves dishes in the sink, punches holes in the walls, and never takes out the trash. The person who lets anger sit within easy reach is called a fool. That couldn’t be clearer, could it?

Why is letting anger take up residence in you foolish? Because it breaks your fellowship with God and with other people. But there is hope. If you have the Holy Spirit living in you, there will be no room for your anger. You can instead display the fruits of the Spirt: love, joy, peace, patience. All these and more displace anger and wrath.

What do you want your heart to look like?

Maybe you’ve seen the show Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. A group of workers comes in and totally remakes a home for a family in great need. Maybe they have someone who has special physical needs, or maybe they’ve just adopted several children who had lost their parents and they have no space. There have even been homes that have been ruined by water damage or pests. Whatever the reason, the home is not meeting the needs of the family, and they’re not financially able to either get a new home or fix the one they have.

Perhaps you feel incapable of fixing your heart. Anger just seems to keep showing up at your door. It’s time to let God do an extreme makeover on your heart so there is no place for anger to reside. You might let it in for a moment and ask it why it’s there, but you don’t let it put up its feet and make itself at home.

Letting the Holy Spirit fill up your heart looks like spending time with God in prayer, reading and meditating on his Word. It looks like surrounding yourself with other people who love God and want to live pure and Christ-centered lives. Let your heart be a home that attracts others instead of pushing them away.

Release Your Anger

If anger has been residing in your heart for a long time, it might take a lot of time to uproot it, but remember that you don’t have to do this in your own strength. Spend some time meditating on God’s Word and asking the Holy Spirit for help moment by moment, day by day. Ask him to bring to mind Scriptures that will fill your heart, pushing out those deep-seated feelings. Sometimes it’s easy to forget to pray, to talk to God and allow his peace to fill you. Ask him to remind you of his presence and ownership of your heart.

Take a deep breath. Ask the Spirit of God to reveal any angry thoughts, desires, or actions within you. What recent incident sparked anger in you? What person recently got on your nerves? What effect did anger have on you or on your witness as a Christian this week?

Examine your heart. Take time to evaluate your feelings when anger shows up. Don’t ignore it because it will subtly take over if you pretend it’s not there. Make it a practice to look at your anger, ask it where it comes from, and then tell it that it’s no longer welcome to stay.

Resisting anger can be a battle, but one that the Spirit of God is poised and ready to help you win! Don’t let anger take up residence. Kick it to the curb. Gaining control in this area is a major step toward mental wellness.

Lord God, help me not to be angry in my heart. Resentful, deep-seated anger separates me from you. When I am quick-tempered, I know it exposes my foolishness for everyone to see. I don’t want to be a fool. And I know anger only leads to evil. But it’s hard. Anger shows up at my door sometimes, often when I least expect it. And so quickly. Please put someone in my life who has the courage to point out to me when I give an angry response. Give me greater understanding of my emotions so I can profit from self-control. I can’t do this on my own. I need your strength, your grace, your mercy. I want my heart to be your home, filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. It’s in the name of Jesus that I pray, amen.

JOURNAL PROMPT: Write down some ways you can keep anger from taking up residence in your heart. What good things can you invite in instead?