Oh, I See What You Mean!

understanding - Oh, I See What You Mean!

Understanding is a wellspring of life to him who has it. Proverbs 16:22

After many failed attempts, Orville and Wilbur Wright finally flew successfully in December 1903. They excitedly telegraphed their sister Katherine, “We have actually flown 120 feet. We will be home for Christmas.” She took their telegram to the local newspaper editor. He read it and said, “How nice. The boys will be home for Christmas.”

The editor totally missed the point.

Do you find yourself “missing the point” in your marriage when you listen to your spouse? When you hear, “I’ve had a really rough day, especially when I went to the shopping mall,” do you say, “Oh, you went to the mall? Did you get that shirt like I asked you?”

Marital intimacy means listening to your spouse at the deepest level possible. It means hearing his or her deepest feelings, concerns, hopes, and fears.

Teresa might say that I’ve been “slow to break” in missing the point. In breaking me of so often missing the point of what Teresa was saying to me, the Lord brought me to a painful realization: The root of the problem for me was my own self-centeredness. I was so focused on my agenda, ideas, plans, and needs that I was insensitive to others.

God pointed me to the Christ of the Gospels as an example of someone who never “missed the point” when He talked to those around Him. He listened to people with selfless, sensitive, attentive, and caring ears. That’s the kind of love our Lord had for those who came to Him.

And it’s the kind of love I’m to have for those around me, particularly my spouse.

How can you begin to be a better listener, to make sure you “get the point” when your spouse communicates with you?