What Next?

Moses was afraid, thinking, “Everyone knows what I did.” And sure enough, Pharaoh heard what had happened, and he tried to kill Moses. But Moses fled from Pharaoh and went to live in the land of Midian.

The book of Exodus tells the story of Moses, a man whose life was marked by an avalanche of losses. Threatened by Pharaoh’s order to kill all the Israelite baby boys, Moses’ mother placed her newborn in a basket in the bulrushes along a river’s edge. To her relief and grief, her baby was discovered and adopted into the home of Pharaoh’s daughter. Before he could walk or talk, Moses had lost his biological family.

Years later, in early manhood, Moses wrestled with the loss of his identity; he was a Hebrew by blood but an Egyptian by position. Where did he belong? His frustration born of these losses drove him to kill a man in anger, an act that required him to flee into the wilderness. He’d lost his family, his identity, his home. Now he’d lost his safety. Each loss seemed to beget another one.

However, in the vulnerability of that desert, Moses made a startling discovery. God could fill Moses’ losses with his presence. As he commissioned Moses to lead the Israelites out of bondage, God would show Moses over and over that each loss invited a choice: Would grief harden his heart or break it open? Each plague that befell Egypt invited that choice. Each subsequent struggle in the desert would too. In the face of one loss after another, Moses would always need to decide—Will I follow God more nearly or determine my own path through suffering?

Chances are, the death of your person has precipitated an avalanche of its own. One loss sent you reeling, but you’re quickly discovering more losses keep coming. Maybe you’ve lost your energy and enthusiasm for work. Or you’ve lost your physical health. Friendships or family relationships may have become strained in the wake of your person’s death. Like an avalanche that keeps rolling down the mountain, building speed as it goes, your person’s death has created a vast, complicated landscape of devastating loss. You’ve got so many secondary losses that you feel like you’re up to your neck in the snows of grief.

The avalanche of losses in your life offers you the same opportunity it did Moses. Every successive loss is a chance to become bitter or to become better—a chance to harden in response to the world’s pain or soften as God nurtures the fruits of the Spirit within you. Will your loved one’s death prompt you to turn to the Lord? You bear the burden of so many losses—the immediate and the secondary. Today, allow those griefs to drive you to your heavenly Father.

The waves of death overwhelmed me; floods of destruction swept over me. The grave wrapped its ropes around me; death laid a trap in my path. But in my distress I cried out to the LORD; yes, I cried to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry reached his ears.

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown.

A Prayer: God, I lost my person, and now I’m losing other things—friends, health, energy, hope. I am overwhelmed by the many ways my person’s death has covered my life in sadness. I feel inundated by loss. I know these griefs bear the temptation to turn from you, but I don’t want to do that. Let each successive loss drive me closer to you. Protect me from bitterness and cynicism. Lead me away from the temptations of fatalistic thinking and despair. Restore hope within me as I do the hard work of shoveling through these losses. Remind me that you are with me, working beside me even when I can’t see it. Amen.

An Activity for Today: From infancy, we’ve had places that have brought us comfort. In the boxes below, identify three places that signify peace, joy, and relaxation to you. Next, sit in silence and spend time visualizing one of these locations. What do you see, smell, and hear? Imagine yourself in the mental picture, both as an observer and as a participant. How does it feel when the sand slips between your toes or the wind blows in your hair? Let the location help you relax as you enter mentally and emotionally into it.

A Song to Encourage Your Heart: “God I Look to You” by Bethel Music