The Wise Fool

The Wise Fool

The great players are known to find a way to expose their opponents’ weaknesses. They study their opponents’ technique to learn how to get into the heads of the people playing against them. Some players will bring up weaknesses from their opponents’ personal lives to get under their skin as well.

If you were to spend a day or two with me, you would find that my weakness is struggling to listen effectively. One of the reasons why I don’t listen well is because I speak too quickly. For instance, I will try to finish my wife’s sentences without hearing her out or too quickly exert my opinion in a meeting. The older I get the more convicted I am of my need to speak less and listen more. Listening takes intentionality because of the distractions that are so prevalent in our lives today. Smartphones, the ever-present e-mail, and text messages create a dissonance with those we are in relationship with.

How can we be better listeners? First, listen with your eyes. Force yourself to maintain eye contact while in a one-on-one conversation. It takes effort and focus, but you will retain more of what was said if you lock in with your eyes. Second, listen with your heart by treating others how you want to be treated. As a result, don’t hijack the conversation and make it about you. We all know people who seem to lie in wait for a chance to make the discussion about themselves. Third, listen with your mind. Do this by asking questions that pertain to the conversation at hand.

Scripture gives us wise advice for listening. Proverbs 18:13 states, “Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.” Proverbs 17:28 states, “Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.” Listen before you speak.

Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.

Proverbs 18:13