Managing Like Tommy

Managing like Tommy

The great Tommy Lasorda once said, “Managing is like holding a dove in your hand. Squeeze too hard and you kill it, not hard enough and it flies away.” When coaches have retired and then come out of retirement to coach the game that they love, they often sense that things have changed. Their “old-school” tactics aren’t having the results that they once did. When they realize that they are now in a different environment, they often question their ability to effectively lead when players don’t respond to their natural leadership instincts. If they squeeze too hard, they might just bind up the team with fear. If they don’t instill enough discipline, the team begins to break down from a lack of boundaries.

Parenting is a lot like that too, isn’t it? If parents are too strict, it squashes the spirit of a child. If parents aren’t willing to discipline, the child has no sense of boundaries and, like the dove, might fly away. This begs the question, How do you manage your kids like Lasorda managed his Dodgers?

The answer is to speak the truth in love. If all we do is speak truth, then we risk being legalistic, unmerciful, and abusive. If all we do is love, and never confront with truth, then anything goes. Ephesians 6:4 states, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”

In parenting, one of the most delicate skills is finding the right way to speak the truth in love. And trust me, as the father of two boys and a girl, I know you can’t use the same approach with girls as you do with boys.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4