Grandparenting: A Privilege, A Calling, And Scary!

“‘As for me, this is my covenant with them,’ says the LORD. ‘My Spirit, who is on you, will not depart from you, and my words that I have put in your mouth will always be on your lips, on the lips of your children and on the lips of their descendants–from this time on and forever,’ says the LORD.” (Isaiah 59:21, NIV)

We have a small old farmhouse. We named one of the bedrooms the “Blessing Room.” It contains an old bed which I’ve painted many times. Across the foot of the bed, I painted Isaiah 59:21 with the names of each of our grands. When John and I became grandparents, this became our theme verse. It’s our greatest longing for our kids and grandkids–and for our whole family line.

It probably is for you too. BUT just thinking about grandparenting raises some fears.

What if I don’t do this right and my adult kids are unhappy with me?

What if a grandchild gets injured on my watch?

What if our kids don’t raise their kids in the Lord?

What if my own painful background leaves me with no ideas on how to grandparent?

What if I totally blow it?

When my own kids were young, I remember feeling on many occasions, “I have ruined this child.” God gave me a phrase that has helped me both in parenting and grandparenting!

“Susan, your ability to ruin this child is not nearly as powerful as my ability to redeem her (or him).”

This season has fears and challenges but also many blessings.

The blessing of having to grow ourselves.

Being a grandparent will cause us to depend on Him in new ways and that’s uncomfortable. But God wants us to become more dependent upon Him, not less. In our efforts to be effective grandparents, we will be forced into a greater dependency upon Him, and this will result in a bigger view of God himself.

Ask, “God, what are you teaching me in my role?”

The blessing of being able to say things that just might be heard by our grands.

One of the things we’ve discovered is that we can get away with saying things or asking personal questions which are likely to get an “eye roll” or an “Aw Mom” if asked by a parent. And our grands often behave better when they are with us than they do for their parents!

The blessing of perspective.

Because we are older, we have perspective, and perspective encourages hope. When your grandson doesn’t make the team and thinks he’ll never be a success or when your granddaughter gets left out by another girl and thinks she’ll never have friends, you can comfort them with perspective. “This is just one disappointment. Your turn will come.” (And tell them stories of your disappointments at their age.)

The blessing of sharing the Word with them.

Share scriptures that have been meaningful to you personally and tell them why. One of my main prayers for my kids and grands is that they would “fall in love with the Word of God.” (Psalm 119:105). When we share personal stories, it will be natural and not preachy. Our grands are open to us in a fresh way simply because we are the grandparents.

A Promise and a Prayer:

“Faithful is He who calls you, and He also will do it.” (1Thessalonians 5:24, NASB)

Father, I have so many fears about this responsibility to grandparent well. Thank you that it’s not all up to me. You will equip me for what you have called me to, and you will redeem my mistakes. Today help me to focus more on who you are and what you can do than on myself and my inadequacies.