I Need A Best Friend

“For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.” (Romans 12:4-5, ESV)

“From whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love.” (Ephesians 4:16, ESV)

As a young girl on the playground, it was a wise decision to find a best friend—you needed someone you could count on to cheer you on as you braved the monkey bars. But friendship was also very fickle. I remember receiving a note when I was out of school sick for a few days from another classmate. She wanted to comfort me by letting me know my best friend was now her best friend. That was very comforting, indeed.

Through high school and college, I had women I did everything with which made life rich and good. There was depth coupled with fun and silliness.

After college, things changed.

Now, as a thirty-year-old, I’ve had mini-crisis moments wondering why I don’t have a best friend. I’ve seen the highlight reels of other acquaintances who always seem to have that one friend they vacation with, who gather their families together and seem to share the same wardrobe. Why can’t I find just one friend that spans all seasons of life?

One of the toughest realities of being an adult is realizing that we will most likely have fewer close friends. Our seasons and communities change so often it can be hard to give the title to just one person. Accepting this helps us work through the narrative: if I don’t have one best friend then I’m doing friendship all wrong.

So, instead, reframe the term “best friend”—because you will always have a friend that is the “best” at something.

You may have a friend that is best at making you feel welcomed, a friend who is best at asking good questions, a friend who is the best at serving others, or a friend who is best at making great party playlists. The list could go on and on. It just takes us a few minutes to see the best in each of our friends, whether we just met or we have known one another for years.

In Scripture, I see less emphasis on lifetime relationships and more emphasis on supporting every member of “the body” equally and fairly. Every person matters and has important value to your story and the advancement of the Kingdom of God.

Every person has a different role to play. We are all gifted in a variety of ways and can offer different things to our friends. So, you might not have the one singular friend who shares the same brain as you, but you may have a collection of women who add meaning to your life. Don’t allow what you don’t have to cloud the beautiful gift of people God has placed on your path.

As you open up to friends along the way, you may just discover the most unexpected friendship start to feel like something called a “best friend.”

Prayer:

Lord, I long for a best friend. I long to be known in a way that is safe and welcoming. Help me to see the best in all my friends. Help me to be vulnerable and let people in that I may have never suspected. And I ask, over time, I make an awesome friend that I can call a best friend. Amen.