False Guilt

Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.

Romans 8:33–34 niv

Some of us are strongly independent. We can tackle many types of tasks and handle multiple responsibilities successfully. We rarely ask for help. It doesn’t matter what the tasks are; we figure out a way to get them done. Other people see us as productive and dependable. They respect and rely on us.

But what happens when we cannot complete our tasks as we used to because we just don’t feel like ourselves? What happens when we want help, but something in us prevents us from acknowledging and asking for what we need?

In psychology circles, the inability to ask for help does not mean a person is independent. Instead, it’s possible the individual is operating from a place of guilt—false guilt. If we find ourselves resisting the idea of asking for help, perhaps we’re feeling a false guilt that we are going to be a burden to the person we are asking. Feelings of false guilt for allowing “this” to happen. Feelings of false guilt that we can’t complete the tasks we want to.

To break the pattern of these thoughts, we need to ask ourselves: Is having a need bad? The answer is no. God would not have us hindered by such feelings. He does not want us trying to handle things on our own. It is perfectly okay to ask for help or advice. We were created for community, and the Bible talks about how we are to serve one another. One of the best things we can learn to do for ourselves is to recognize false guilt, reframe those thoughts to more accurate statements, and ask for help.

As you go through life, don’t let your feelings—real as they are—invalidate your need to let the truth of God’s words guide your thinking. Remember that the path to your heart travels through your mind. Truth matters.

Randy Alcorn

To meditate on Scripture is to allow the truth of God’s Word to move from head to heart. It is to so dwell upon a truth that it becomes part of our being.

Greg Oden

For Further Reflection

Galatians 6:2; Philippians 2:4; 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Today’s Prayer

Lord, you are the only one who is self-sufficient. You created me to live in community and rely on the body to be your hands and feet. Please help me to remember to reach out. Amen.