Question 1

If I’m single, am I missing out on God’s plan for me?

Accepted Answer

Matthew 19:12“Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.”1 Corinthians 7:7I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.Either marriage or singleness can be a gift from God. Is it all right to remain single? Yes. Is it all right to marry? Yes. There are advantages to both. And yes, there are challenges to overcome in either case, because married or single, we live in a fallen world.1 Corinthians 7:32I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him.In singleness, we are in a position to serve God wholeheartedly. If unmarried, we should never succumb to the feeling that our lives are incomplete.

Question 2

What if I want to marry? Is that wrong?

Accepted Answer

Genesis 2:18Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”1 Corinthians 7:38So the person who marries his fiancée does well, and the person who doesn’t marry does even better.In the beginning, God made a man and a woman for each other. It is good when the right mates find each other, but tragic when a marriage falls short of God’s glorious plan. People should not feel pressured to marry or to remain single. We should ask God to lead us concerning marriage and the right marriage partner.

Question 3

How can God help me accept my singleness?

Accepted Answer

1 Corinthians 7:7-8I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows—it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am.1 Corinthians 7:17Each of you should continue to live in whatever situation the Lord has placed you, and remain as you were when God first called you. This is my rule for all the churches.Sometimes, when we desperately want something, it is easy to be blind to the advantages of our current situation. Paul found that his singleness was an advantage in pursuing his call of establishing churches. If single, we should step back and look for the special ways God can use us as a single person. We may be free to live and serve in ways we could not if we were married.

Question 4

How can I deal with the loneliness of being single?

Accepted Answer

Matthew 28:20“Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”We are never really alone. We can take comfort in the thought that God will never leave us.1 Corinthians 7:32I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him.We can alleviate our loneliness by focusing our attention on what God wants us to do and serving him wholeheartedly.Romans 12:5We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other.Hebrews 10:25Let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.The best way to avoid loneliness is to get together with other believers. Get involved in a local church. Get busy with God’s people doing God’s work. We don’t have to be married to do that.

Question 5

How do I avoid bitterness over being single?

Accepted Answer

Philippians 2:4Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.Hebrews 12:15Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.God tells us to look out for others, thus avoiding the tendency to focus too much on our own needs. We should get involved with groups where we feel safe sharing our feelings and having people support and pray for us.

Question 6

If a person’s mate dies, is it all right to marry again?

Accepted Answer

Matthew 22:23-33That same day Jesus was approached by some Sadducees—religious leaders who say there is no resurrection from the dead. They posed this question: “Teacher, Moses said, ‘If a man dies without children, his brother should marry the widow and have a child who will carry on the brother’s name.’ Well, suppose there were seven brothers. The oldest one married and then died without children, so his brother married the widow. But the second brother also died, and the third brother married her. This continued with all seven of them. Last of all, the woman also died. So tell us, whose wife will she be in the resurrection? For all seven were married to her.” Jesus replied, “Your mistake is that you don’t know the Scriptures, and you don’t know the power of God. For when the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage. In this respect they will be like the angels in heaven. But now, as to whether there will be a resurrection of the dead—haven’t you ever read about this in the Scriptures? Long after Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob had died, God said, ‘I am the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob.’ So he is the God of the living, not the dead.” When the crowds heard him, they were astounded at his teaching.1 Corinthians 7:39A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. If her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but only if he loves the Lord.Marriage is a lifetime commitment. When a mate dies, the marriage contract is over. It is not wrong for the survivor to marry again.

Singleness