Question 1

Why is selfishness so destructive?

Accepted Answer

Genesis 13:8-11Finally Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not allow this conflict to come between us or our herdsmen. After all, we are close relatives! The whole countryside is open to you. Take your choice of any section of the land you want, and we will separate. If you want the land to the left, then I’ll take the land on the right. If you prefer the land on the right, then I’ll go to the left.” Lot took a long look at the fertile plains of the Jordan Valley in the direction of Zoar. The whole area was well watered everywhere, like the garden of the Lord or the beautiful land of Egypt. (This was before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.) Lot chose for himself the whole Jordan Valley to the east of them. He went there with his flocks and servants and parted company with his uncle Abram.Genesis 27:35-37, 41Isaac said, “Your brother was here, and he tricked me. He has taken away your blessing.” Esau exclaimed, “No wonder his name is Jacob, for now he has cheated me twice. First he took my rights as the firstborn, and now he has stolen my blessing. Oh, haven’t you saved even one blessing for me?” Isaac said to Esau, “I have made Jacob your master and have declared that all his brothers will be his servants. I have guaranteed him an abundance of grain and wine—what is left for me to give you, my son?” . . . From that time on, Esau hated Jacob because their father had given Jacob the blessing. And Esau began to scheme: “I will soon be mourning my father’s death. Then I will kill my brother, Jacob.”Selfishness can destroy relationships and tear families apart. In the case of Lot and Abram, the selfish choice also placed Lot and his family in mortal danger. They moved in among people who would soon experience God’s terrible judgment. In the case of Jacob and Esau, both brothers treated each other with selfishness that led to years of resentment and fear before an eventual reconciliation.Acts 8:18When Simon saw that the Spirit was given when the apostles laid their hands on people, he offered them money to buy this power.Selfish ambition can cause us to do almost anything for personal gain. Simon’s story reveals he wasn’t nearly as interested in having the Holy Spirit as he was in having the power to control the Holy Spirit.2 Corinthians 12:20I am afraid that when I come I won’t like what I find, and you won’t like my response. I am afraid that I will find quarreling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorderly behavior.James 3:15Jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic.Selfishness is not compatible with God’s purpose for us. The selfishness motto is: What’s in this for me? God wants us to mature to the point that we gladly put him and the needs of others first.

Question 2

How can I address the selfishness in my own life?

Accepted Answer

Mark 8:34Then, calling the crowd to join his disciples, he said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross, and follow me.”Galatians 2:20My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.When we surrender to God, we give up what we think is best for our life and do what he knows is best. We put aside our self-fulfilling ambitions so that we can do the job Jesus has for us. We ask Jesus, through the power of the Holy Spirit, to live in us and show his love through us.Matthew 20:28“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve others and to give his life as a ransom for many.”1 Corinthians 10:24Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others.Philippians 2:3Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.1 Corinthians 10:31-33So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. . . . I, too, try to please everyone in everything I do. I don’t just do what is best for me; I do what is best for others so that many may be saved.James 3:16Wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.Selfish motives produce selfish actions. To escape selfishness, we must learn to want what is best for others more than what is best for ourselves.Philippians 3:4, 7-8I could have confidence in my own effort if anyone could. Indeed, if others have reason for confidence in their own efforts, I have even more! . . . I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain ChristSelfishness is all about us and what we can get now. The Christian life is all about obeying God, serving others, and delaying our reward until the future. We are called to put our energy into things that last forever.1 John 3:17If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?One of the best cures for the selfish heart is generous giving. And anonymous giving is the best way to avoid the selfish desire for attention and praise for our generosity.Philippians 2:3-4Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.Unselfishness is learning to put others first.

Question 3

It’s a dog-eat-dog world—if I don’t look out for myself, who will?

Accepted Answer

Luke 14:7-11When Jesus noticed that all who had come to the dinner were trying to sit in the seats of honor near the head of the table, he gave them this advice: “When you are invited to a wedding feast, don’t sit in the seat of honor. What if someone who is more distinguished than you has also been invited? The host will come and say, ‘Give this person your seat.’ Then you will be embarrassed, and you will have to take whatever seat is left at the foot of the table! “Instead, take the lowest place at the foot of the table. Then when your host sees you, he will come and say, ‘Friend, we have a better place for you!’ Then you will be honored in front of all the other guests. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”Luke 22:24-27Then they began to argue among themselves about who would be the greatest among them. Jesus told them, “In this world the kings and great men lord it over their people, yet they are called ‘friends of the people.’ But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant. Who is more important, the one who sits at the table or the one who serves? The one who sits at the table, of course. But not here! For I am among you as one who serves.”The highest honor from God awaits those who live their lives serving and honoring others. We don’t understand what it means to be a servant until someone treats us like one.

Question 4

What are the results of a selfish life?

Accepted Answer

James 3:14-16If you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.Selfishness leads to conflict, chaos, and evil.1 Corinthians 3:2-3I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger. And you still aren’t ready, for you are still controlled by your sinful nature. You are jealous of one another and quarrel with each other. Doesn’t that prove you are controlled by your sinful nature? Aren’t you living like people of the world?2 Corinthians 12:20-21I am afraid that when I come I won’t like what I find, and you won’t like my response. I am afraid that I will find quarreling, jealousy, anger, selfishness, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorderly behavior. Yes, I am afraid that when I come again, God will humble me in your presence. And I will be grieved because many of you have not given up your old sins. You have not repented of your impurity, sexual immorality, and eagerness for lustful pleasure.Selfishness is evidence that we are continuing to act out of our fallen nature rather than obeying Christ and his Spirit.