Question 1

Why can’t I seem to control certain desires?

Accepted Answer

Galatians 5:24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there.When we feel like our sinful nature is getting the best of us, we must ask the Holy Spirit to fill our lives with his goodness. Some of the best experiences of self-control come when we ask the Holy Spirit to step in and control us. When we put our faith in Jesus Christ, we have tapped into a whole new power source to help us control our unhealthy desires.Romans 7:21-25I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.Because we are all born with a sinful nature, we will always struggle to do what is right and not do what is wrong. Thankfully, God understands our weaknesses and gives us the desire to please him. As we obey God, we will develop more self-control and the battle with our sinful nature will lessen.Romans 12:1So, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.We must truly want to give up our wrong desires. If we try to hang on to just a little sinful habit, it will eventually come to rule over us.

Question 2

Is it possible to exercise self-control?

Accepted Answer

2 Peter 1:5-6Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness.According to Scripture, sin will reign in our lives until Jesus Christ breaks its power over us (read Romans 5:21). Since Jesus has the power over sin itself, he certainly has the power to help us fight against it.2 Corinthians 3:17The Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.Galatians 5:22-23The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!Self-control is promised through the power of the Holy Spirit. He works in us to bring freedom from the drives and desires that distract us from living for God. Interestingly, self-control is the last fruit listed among the fruit of the Spirit, serving as an over-all evidence of God’s leading in our lives. Our practice of all the Spirit’s fruit is improved when self-control is being exercised.

Question 3

What are some steps to exercising self-control?

Accepted Answer

Psalm 119:11I have hidden your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.Familiarity with and memorization of God’s Word is an antidote that reinforces our self-control in the face of temptation.Psalm 119:9How can a young person stay pure? By obeying your word.2 Timothy 2:5Athletes cannot win the prize unless they follow the rules.To develop self-control we first need to know God’s guidelines for right living as found in the Bible. We need to know what we must control before we can keep it under control. Reading God’s Word consistently—preferably every day—keeps his guidelines for right living fresh in our minds. God’s Word guides and empowers our obedience. God’s promises awaken hope. God’s commands give wisdom and direction.1 Timothy 4:8“Physical training is good, but training for godliness is much better, promising benefits in this life and in the life to come.”Self-control begins with God’s work in us, but it requires our effort as well. Just as a talented musician or athlete must develop their talent, strength, and coordination through intentional effort, spiritual fitness must be intentional as well. God promises to reward such effort.1 Corinthians 10:13The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.We are not alone in our trials and temptations. Self-control includes resisting the temptation to face our challenges alone. Instead of thinking we have no hope for resisting, we should call on the Lord to lead us out of our temptation. We also should ask trusted friends to keep us accountable. God promises to give us what you need in order to resist.Psalm 141:3Take control of what I say, O Lord, and guard my lips.Proverbs 10:19Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.Proverbs 13:3Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything.Matthew 12:36“And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak.”Ephesians 4:29Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.James 1:26If you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.An important way to exercise self-control is by watching what we say. How often have you wished you could take back your words as soon as they left your mouth?Romans 8:6So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.In order to have self-control, we must let God take control of our hearts by fighting against the desires we know are wrong.1 Corinthians 9:25All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.God wants us to exercise self-control over what we think, what we say, and what we do. He wants us to live as children of God, not as mindless followers of our godless culture. We can do this by (1) honestly assessing our weaknesses; (2) determining that they will no longer rule us; (3) appealing to the Holy Spirit to help us stand strong against temptation; (4) humbly confessing to God when we make a mistake; and (5) giving glory to God when we are victorious!

Question 4

When I need a source of help greater than my own self-control, what should I do?

Accepted Answer

Psalm 56:3-4When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you. I praise God for what he has promised. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me?Psalm 60:12With God’s help we will do mighty things, for he will trample down our foes.Psalm 61:2From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety,James 1:5-7If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking. But when you ask him, be sure that your faith is in God alone. Do not waver, for a person with divided loyalty is as unsettled as a wave of the sea that is blown and tossed by the wind. Such people should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.Many experiences in our lives are beyond our control, but we are faced with the task of self-control as we deal with them. Overwhelming circumstances, fears, lack of wisdom, and opposition all remind us that we need to ask God for help.2 Corinthians 12:6-10If I wanted to boast, I would be no fool in doing so, because I would be telling the truth. But I won’t do it, because I don’t want anyone to give me credit beyond what they can see in my life or hear in my message, even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.The Bible tells us that God’s power is most evident within us during our times of weakness. Our problems become God’s opportunities if we allow him to work in and through us. When we face problems or temptations too big for us, we should run to God for help and watch his power accomplish more within us than we could ever accomplish on our own.1 Corinthians 10:13The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.It can help to know others are facing the same temptations we are. Sometimes it is necessary to confess our struggles to a godly friend or a counselor so they can partner with us in our specific struggle. It helps to have people around us who can hold us accountable.

Question 5

What are the rewards of self-control?

Accepted Answer

James 1:12God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.Self-control saves us from the consequences of giving in to sin and bad habits. Faithfully following God brings us the ultimate reward of eternal life.

Self-Control