Is self-care selfish?

1 Corinthians 9:24-25Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.

Hebrews 12:11No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

Sometimes, the concept of self-care is given as an excuse for selfishness and self-indulgence. However, true self-care involves discipline and hard work. Self-care is all about building healthy habits for our minds, bodies, and souls.

Matthew 16:21-23From then on Jesus began to tell his disciples plainly that it was necessary for him to go to Jerusalem, and that he would suffer many terrible things at the hands of the elders, the leading priests, and the teachers of religious law. He would be killed, but on the third day he would be raised from the dead. But Peter took him aside and began to reprimand him for saying such things. “Heaven forbid, Lord,” he said. “This will never happen to you!” Jesus turned to Peter and said, “Get away from me, Satan! You are a dangerous trap to me. You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s.”

Galatians 1:10I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.

Sometimes, in order to say yes to God’s leading, we have to say no to the expectations of the people around us. Some people might not understand, and they may criticize us, but that doesn’t make us selfish. Setting boundaries is a critical part of stewarding our time and talents, and it enables us to serve God more wholeheartedly.

Mark 1:35-36Before daybreak the next morning, Jesus got up and went out to an isolated place to pray. Later Simon and the others went out to find him. When they found him, they said, “Everyone is looking for you.”

Luke 5:16Jesus often withdrew to the wilderness for prayer.

John 15:5-6“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. Anyone who does not remain in me is thrown away like a useless branch and withers.”

When we are busy in ministry, it can be tempting to neglect our own spiritual needs in order to have more time to help others. Jesus’ time and ministry were more valuable than anyone else’s—he only had three years to heal, preach, and train his disciples—yet Jesus always made time to get alone for prayer. Our busyness, our giftedness, our wisdom, our passion—none of these are a valid excuse for neglecting our spiritual needs. None of us can bear good fruit without constant dependence on God.

Matthew 15:14“They [some of the religious leaders] are blind guides leading the blind, and if one blind person guides another, they will both fall into a ditch.”

1 Corinthians 9:27I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

Ephesians 6:4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

When we neglect our own spiritual disciplines, we not only risk consequences for ourselves, but for others. Whether we are a parent, a Sunday school teacher, a youth group leader, or a member of a small group, our spiritual health matters. Pride, anger, greed, lust, apathy, false teaching—each of these stifles our spiritual health and can cause great harm to others. As believers, we cannot afford to let sin take root in our lives.

Exodus 18:14-18When Moses’ father-in-law saw all that Moses was doing for the people, he asked, “What are you really accomplishing here? Why are you trying to do all this alone while everyone stands around you from morning till evening?” Moses replied, “Because the people come to me to get a ruling from God. . . .” “This is not good!” Moses’ father-in-law exclaimed. “You’re going to wear yourself out—and the people, too. This job is too heavy a burden for you to handle all by yourself.”

When we don’t take time to care of ourselves, it affects others too. Moses’ inefficient judicial system was exhausting not only to him, but also to the people he was serving. Self-care is part of our responsibility to others. It enables us to offer them our best.

Matthew 6:19-21“Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.”

Matthew 6:25-33“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? . . . So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.”

Matthew 15:32-27Then Jesus called his disciples and told them, “I feel sorry for these people. They have been here with me for three days, and they have nothing left to eat. I don’t want to send them away hungry, or they will faint along the way.” . . . So Jesus told all the people to sit down on the ground. Then he took the seven loaves and the fish, thanked God for them, and broke them into pieces. He gave them to the disciples, who distributed the food to the crowd. They all ate as much as they wanted.

As humans, we have physical needs, and those needs are legitimate. Fulfilling those needs by taking time to eat, sleep, and relax isn’t selfish—it’s a thankful acceptance of God’s daily gifts to us. We shouldn’t neglect our body’s needs for the illusion of productivity, nor should we neglect our eternal mission in order to store up temporary treasures. Instead, we can avoid both self-neglect and self-indulgence by living a balanced life of stewardship and self-care.

2 Corinthians 8:13-14I don’t mean your giving should make life easy for others and hard for yourselves. I only mean that there should be some equality. Right now you have plenty and can help those who are in need. Later, they will have plenty and can share with you when you need it.

2 Corinthians 9:7You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.”

Many people and ministries can benefit from our time and resources, and God loves it when we give cheerfully to others. However, if we are running ragged because of all our volunteering, or we are struggling to meet our own needs because of our financial giving, it’s entirely appropriate to take a step back. Giving is meant to be a joyful expression of love, not a burden carried out of guilt.