Question 1

What does it mean to be romantic in a married relationship?

Accepted Answer

Ecclesiastes 9:9Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.Song of Songs 4:9You have captured my heart, my treasure, my bride. You hold it hostage with one glance of your eyes, with a single jewel of your necklace.Song of Songs 7:6, 9-10Oh, how beautiful you are! How pleasing, my love, how full of delights! . . . May your kisses be as exciting as the best wine. Yes, wine that goes down smoothly for my lover, flowing gently over lips and teeth. I am my lover’s, and he claims me as his own.Romance in marriage means being purposeful about enjoying our mates and expressing that enjoyment.Proverbs 5:18-19Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.Song of Songs 5:11-15His head is finest gold, his wavy hair is black as a raven. His eyes sparkle like doves beside springs of water; they are set like jewels washed in milk. His cheeks are like gardens of spices giving off fragrance. His lips are like lilies, perfumed with myrrh. His arms are like rounded bars of gold, set with beryl. His body is like bright ivory, glowing with lapis lazuli. His legs are like marble pillars set in sockets of finest gold. His posture is stately, like the noble cedars of Lebanon.True romance in a marriage relationship involves finding and enjoying the attributes of our spouse that captivate us.Song of Songs 1:2Kiss me and kiss me again, for your love is sweeter than wine.Song of Songs 2:5-6Strengthen me with raisin cakes, refresh me with apples, for I am weak with love. His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me.Romance in marriage involves expressing desire for our mate’s affection.Song of Songs 1:12-14The king is lying on his couch, enchanted by the fragrance of my perfume. My lover is like a sachet of myrrh lying between my breasts. He is like a bouquet of sweet henna blossoms from the vineyards of En-gedi.Song of Songs 2:6His left arm is under my head, and his right arm embraces me.Romance in marriage involves physical intimacy.Song of Songs 1:9-11, 15-17You are as exciting, my darling, as a mare among Pharaoh’s stallions. How lovely are your cheeks; your earrings set them afire! How lovely is your neck, enhanced by a string of jewels. We will make for you earrings of gold and beads of silver. . . . How beautiful you are, my darling, how beautiful! Your eyes are like doves. You are so handsome, my love, pleasing beyond words! The soft grass is our bed; fragrant cedar branches are the beams of our house, and pleasant smelling firs are the rafters.Song of Songs 4:1-5You are beautiful, my darling, beautiful beyond words. Your eyes are like doves behind your veil. Your hair falls in waves, like a flock of goats winding down the slopes of Gilead. Your teeth are as white as sheep, recently shorn and freshly washed. Your smile is flawless, each tooth matched with its twin. Your lips are like scarlet ribbon; your mouth is inviting. Your cheeks are like rosy pomegranates behind your veil. Your neck is as beautiful as the tower of David, jeweled with the shields of a thousand heroes. Your breasts are like two fawns, twin fawns of a gazelle grazing among the lilies.Song of Songs 4:10-11Your love delights me, my treasure, my bride. Your love is better than wine, your perfume more fragrant than spices. Your lips are as sweet as nectar, my bride. Honey and milk are under your tongue. Your clothes are scented like the cedars of Lebanon.Romance in marriage involves expressing how attractive our mate is to us.1 Peter 3:3-5Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands.Romance in marriage involves getting to know and appreciatiog the inner beauty of our spouse.Philippians 2:3Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.1 Peter 3:7-8You husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.Romance in marriage involves treating our spouse with respect, selflessness, and understanding.Proverbs 31:28-31Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.Song of Songs 2:4He escorts me to the banquet hall; it’s obvious how much he loves me.Song of Songs 5:16His mouth is sweetness itself; he is desirable in every way. Such, O women of Jerusalem, is my lover, my friend.Romance in marriage involves publicly declaring our affection for our spouse.

Question 2

What is the connection between love and romance?

Accepted Answer

Song of Songs 8:6-7Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm. For love is as strong as death, its jealousy as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame. Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it. If a man tried to buy love with all his wealth, his offer would be utterly scorned.Romans 13:10Love does no wrong to others, so love fulfills the requirements of God’s law.1 Corinthians 13:13Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.Love is the source of all true romance.1 Corinthians 13:4-7Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.True, unselfish love is extremely attractive and inspires good romance.

Question 3

Why is romance important?

Accepted Answer

Song of Songs 2:2-3Like a lily among thistles is my darling among young women. Like the finest apple tree in the orchard is my lover among other young men. I sit in his delightful shade and taste his delicious fruit.Song of Songs 5:10My lover is dark and dazzling, better than ten thousand others!Song of Songs 6:8-9Even among sixty queens and eighty concubines and countless young women, I would still choose my dove, my perfect one—the favorite of her mother, dearly loved by the one who bore her. The young women see her and praise her; even queens and royal concubines sing her praises.Romance is important because it expresses the value of both individuals in a loving relationship.Song of Songs 2:4, 16He escorts me to the banquet hall; it’s obvious how much he loves me. . . . My lover is mine, and I am his. He browses among the lilies.Romance is important because it encourages each person to serve and care for the other.Proverbs 5:15-17Drink water from your own well—share your love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers.Song of Songs 4:12-15You are my private garden, my treasure, my bride, a secluded spring, a hidden fountain. Your thighs shelter a paradise of pomegranates with rare spices—henna with nard, nard and saffron, fragrant calamus and cinnamon, with all the trees of frankincense, myrrh, and aloes, and every other lovely spice. You are a garden fountain, a well of fresh water streaming down from Lebanon’s mountains.Romance is important because it guards intimacy and promotes faithfulness.

Question 4

What are the dangers of romance?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 6:24-26It [godly instruction] will keep you from the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of a promiscuous woman. Don’t lust for her beauty. Don’t let her coy glances seduce you. For a prostitute will bring you to poverty, but sleeping with another man’s wife will cost you your life.Proverbs 7:10, 21The woman approached him, seductively dressed and sly of heart. . . . So she seduced him with her pretty speech and enticed him with her flattery.Ecclesiastes 7:26I discovered that a seductive woman is a trap more bitter than death. Her passion is a snare, and her soft hands are chains. Those who are pleasing to God will escape her, but sinners will be caught in her snare.Romance can be dangerous when it leads us in the wrong direction. We must be cautious of whom and what we allow our minds to dwell on. Being romanced is intoxicating and sexually tempting, so outside of marriage it can easily lead to sexual immorality.

Question 5

Is God “romantic” toward me?

Accepted Answer

Isaiah 54:5, 8Your Creator will be your husband; the Lord of Heaven’s Armies is his name! He is your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth. . . . “In a burst of anger I turned my face away for a little while. But with everlasting love I will have compassion on you,” says the Lord, your Redeemer.Isaiah 62:5Your children will commit themselves to you, O Jerusalem, just as a young man commits himself to his bride. Then God will rejoice over you as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride.Jeremiah 3:14“Return home, you wayward children,” says the Lord, “for I am your master. I will bring you back to the land of Israel—one from this town and two from that family—from wherever you are scattered.”Jeremiah 31:3Long ago the Lord said to Israel: “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.”Ezekiel 16:8-13“When I passed by again, I saw that you were old enough for love. So I wrapped my cloak around you to cover your nakedness and declared my marriage vows. I made a covenant with you, says the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine. Then I bathed you and washed off your blood, and I rubbed fragrant oils into your skin. I gave you expensive clothing of fine linen and silk, beautifully embroidered, and sandals made of fine goatskin leather. I gave you lovely jewelry, bracelets, beautiful necklaces, a ring for your nose, earrings for your ears, and a lovely crown for your head. And so you were adorned with gold and silver. Your clothes were made of fine linen and costly fabric and were beautifully embroidered. You ate the finest foods—choice flour, honey, and olive oil—and became more beautiful than ever. You looked like a queen, and so you were!”Hosea 2:14, 19-20“Then I will win her back once again. I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her there. . . .I will make you my wife forever, showing you righteousness and justice, unfailing love and compassion. I will be faithful to you and make you mine, and you will finally know me as the Lord.”Hosea 3:1Then the Lord said to me, “Go and love your wife again, even though she commits adultery with another lover. This will illustrate that the Lord still loves Israel, even though the people have turned to other gods and love to worship them.”Galatians 5:22-23The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!Ephesians 5:25-33For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. . . . So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.Revelation 19:7Let us be glad and rejoice, and let us give honor to him. For the time has come for the wedding feast of the Lamb, and his bride has prepared herself.God reveals his romantic love for us throughout Scripture by showing his desire for a loving, intimate relationship with us. Though we may be tempted to attribute a sexual connotation to these verses, we must understand that even marital intimacy is only a shadow of the deep, knowing love of God for his people. We were made by God and for God. No greater love and acceptance exists than in the arms of the one who created us for himself.