How can I deal with my regrets?
2 Corinthians 5:17Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
When we come to faith in Jesus, he forgives and forgets our sins—all of them—and he gives us a fresh start. We will still have to live with the earthly consequences of our sins, but because God forgives us, we can move forward without the tremendous guilt that can accompanies regret.
Psalm 51:1-15Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. . . . Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.
Micah 7:19Once again you will have compassion on us. You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean!
Because God no longer holds our sins against us, we no longer have to hold them against ourselves. Now we can be free from self-condemnation.
Psalm 51:1-3, 17Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. . . . The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
Psalm 119:75I know, O Lord, that your regulations are fair; you disciplined me because I needed it.
When feeling regret for something we have done, we should consider what God may be communicating through our regrets. God sometimes uses brokenness and remorse to bring spiritual insight and growth. Regrets that drive us to God are redemptive.
Philippians 3:13No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,
Because the past is over, we shouldn’t live a life of “what ifs.” Instead, we should focus on God who controls the future and not on regrets from the past.
Matthew 16:18“Now I say to you that you are Peter (which means ‘rock’), and upon this rock I will build my church, and all the powers of hell will not conquer it.”
Matthew 26:69-75Meanwhile, Peter was sitting outside in the courtyard. A servant girl came over and said to him, “You were one of those with Jesus the Galilean.” But Peter denied it in front of everyone. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said. Later, out by the gate, another servant girl noticed him and said to those standing around, “This man was with Jesus of Nazareth.” Again Peter denied it, this time with an oath. “I don’t even know the man,” he said. A little later some of the other bystanders came over to Peter and said, “You must be one of them; we can tell by your Galilean accent.” Peter swore, “A curse on me if I’m lying—I don’t know the man!” And immediately the rooster crowed. Suddenly, Jesus’ words flashed through Peter’s mind: “Before the rooster crows, you will deny three times that you even know me.” And he went away, weeping bitterly.
Galatians 2:7-9They [leaders among the believers] saw that God had given me [Paul] the responsibility of preaching the gospel to the Gentiles, just as he had given Peter the responsibility of preaching to the Jews. For the same God who worked through Peter as the apostle to the Jews also worked through me as the apostle to the Gentiles. In fact, James, Peter, and John, who were known as pillars of the church, recognized the gift God had given me, and they accepted Barnabas and me as their co-workers. They encouraged us to keep preaching to the Gentiles, while they continued their work with the Jews.
Because we are in Christ, he helps us turn our regrets into resolve. Regrets can disable us from serving God in the future. If Peter had focused on his regret of denying Jesus, he would never have been able to preach the good news about Jesus so powerfully. We shouldn’t allow regrets to paralyze us. Instead, we should use them to motivate us to take positive action for God.
Psalm 30:11You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy.
Psalm 51:12Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you.
Philippians 4:6Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.
1 Peter 5:7Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
We should allow our regrets to draw us closer to God. He wants to take our burdens and restore our relationship with him and others. And we shouldn’t let small regrets lead us into the biggest regret of our lives—withdrawing from God. No matter what we have done, he welcomes us with loving arms.
Romans 8:28We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
We should remember that God can turn bad into good. He can use even the things we regret to accomplish his will.
1 Chronicles 21:8David said to God, “I have sinned greatly by taking this census. Please forgive my guilt for doing this foolish thing.”
Psalm 51:1-5Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my rebellion; it haunts me day and night. Against you, and you alone, have I sinned; I have done what is evil in your sight. You will be proved right in what you say, and your judgment against me is just. For I was born a sinner—yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.
Matthew 18:21-22Then Peter came to him [Jesus] and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”
Luke 15:18“‘I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you.”’”
Romans 4:6-8David also spoke of this when he described the happiness of those who are declared righteous without working for it: “Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sins are put out of sight. Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of sin.”
Sin brings regret because it damages the relationships most important to us. Sometimes our own sin has caused the problem, and sometimes it’s the sins of others. In either case, the sin has caused a deep rift in the relationship and now we face conflict, separation, loneliness, frustration, anger, and more. Confessing our sins to God and others and seeking forgiveness is the only way to give our hearts a chance to start over. Forgiving others of their sin against us also gives us the chance for a fresh start. Forgiveness is the glue that holds friendship together. It doesn’t simply remove the regret but changes our focus from regret to restoration. It keeps us focused on the healing that can happen in the future rather than the wounds that we received in the past.
