Question 1

Why do I pretend to be someone or something that I’m not?

Accepted Answer

Matthew 23:27-28“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. . . . Outwardly you look like righteous people, but inwardly your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness.”Mark 12:38-40Jesus also taught: “Beware of these teachers of religious law! For they like to parade around in flowing robes and receive respectful greetings as they walk in the marketplaces. And how they love the seats of honor in the synagogues and the head table at banquets. Yet they shamelessly cheat widows out of their property and then pretend to be pious by making long prayers in public. Because of this, they will be more severely punished.”Pride—everyone wants to look honorable and important in the eyes of their peers. But looking honorable and having an honorable heart are two different things. The temporary effects of pretending may accomplish our purpose, but we will regret the long-term results.2 Corinthians 4:1-7Since God in his mercy has given us this new way, we never give up. We reject all shameful deeds and underhanded methods. We don’t try to trick anyone or distort the word of God. We tell the truth before God, and all who are honest know this. If the Good News we preach is hidden behind a veil, it is hidden only from people who are perishing. Satan, who is the god of this world, has blinded the minds of those who don’t believe. They are unable to see the glorious light of the Good News. They don’t understand this message about the glory of Christ, who is the exact likeness of God. You see, we don’t go around preaching about ourselves. We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ. We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.1 Thessalonians 2:5Never once did we try to win you with flattery, as you well know. And God is our witness that we were not pretending to be your friends just to get your money!Flattery—We may use flattery to pretend we like someone in order to get something from them. Transparency may require a lot of humility, but in the end, the impression we make on others will be genuine. God works through humble (or fragile) vessels.Genesis 27:5-19, 35-36Then she [Rebekah] took Esau’s favorite clothes, which were there in the house, and gave them to her younger son, Jacob. She covered his arms and the smooth part of his neck with the skin of the young goats. Then she gave Jacob the delicious meal, including freshly baked bread. So Jacob took the food to his father. “My father?” he said. “Yes, my son,” Isaac answered. “Who are you—Esau or Jacob?” Jacob replied, “It’s Esau, your firstborn son. I’ve done as you told me. Here is the wild game. Now sit up and eat it so you can give me your blessing.” . . . Isaac said [to Esau], “Your brother [Jacob] was here, and he tricked me. He has taken away your blessing.” Esau exclaimed, “No wonder his name is Jacob, for now he has cheated me twice. First he took my rights as the firstborn, and now he has stolen my blessing. Oh, haven’t you saved even one blessing for me?”Genesis 29:16-25When Jacob woke up in the morning—it was Leah! “What have you done to me?” Jacob raged at Laban. “I worked seven years for Rachel! Why have you tricked me?”Joshua 9:3-22When the people of Gibeon heard what Joshua had done to Jericho and Ai, they resorted to deception to save themselves. They sent ambassadors to Joshua, loading their donkeys with weathered saddlebags and old, patched wineskins. They put on worn-out, patched sandals and ragged clothes. . . . “But who are you?” Joshua demanded. “Where do you come from?” They answered, “Your servants have come from a very distant country.”1 Samuel 28:7-12Saul then said to his advisers, “Find a woman who is a medium, so I can go and ask her what to do.” His advisers replied, “There is a medium at Endor.” So Saul disguised himself by wearing ordinary clothing instead of his royal robes. Then he went to the woman’s home at night, accompanied by two of his men. “I have to talk to a man who has died,” he said. “Will you call up his spirit for me?” “Are you trying to get me killed?” the woman demanded. “You know that Saul has outlawed all the mediums and all who consult the spirits of the dead. Why are you setting a trap for me?” But Saul took an oath in the name of the Lord and promised, “As surely as the Lord lives, nothing bad will happen to you for doing this.” Finally, the woman said, “Well, whose spirit do you want me to call up?” “Call up Samuel,” Saul replied. When the woman saw Samuel, she screamed, “You’ve deceived me! You are Saul!”1 Kings 14:1-6At that time Jeroboam’s son Abijah became very sick. So Jeroboam told his wife, “Disguise yourself so that no one will recognize you as my wife. Then go to the prophet Ahijah at Shiloh—the man who told me I would become king. Take him a gift of ten loaves of bread, some cakes, and a jar of honey, and ask him what will happen to the boy.” So Jeroboam’s wife went to Ahijah’s home at Shiloh. He was an old man now and could no longer see. But the Lord had told Ahijah, “Jeroboam’s wife will come here, pretending to be someone else. She will ask you about her son, for he is very sick. Give her the answer I give you.” So when Ahijah heard her footsteps at the door, he called out, “Come in, wife of Jeroboam! Why are you pretending to be someone else?” Then he told her, “I have bad news for you.”Selfishness—It is not uncommon for us to act selfishly to get what we want, while disguising our true motives. The Bible includes many accounts, beginning with the serpent’s deception of Adam and Eve (Genesis 3), of someone tricking someone else to accomplish a selfishly dishonest purpose. Our self-centered actions never have the wellbeing of other people in mind, but are all about getting what we desire.

Question 2

In what ways do I pretend before God?

Accepted Answer

Psalm 50:16-17God says to the wicked: “Why bother reciting my decrees and pretending to obey my covenant? For you refuse my discipline and treat my words like trash.”Proverbs 28:9God detests the prayers of a person who ignores the law.Isaiah 58:2-7“Yet they act so pious! They come to the Temple every day and seem delighted to learn all about me. They act like a righteous nation that would never abandon the laws of its God. They ask me to take action on their behalf, pretending they want to be near me. ‘We have fasted before you!’ they say. ‘Why aren’t you impressed? We have been very hard on ourselves, and you don’t even notice it!’ I will tell you why!” I respond. “It’s because you are fasting to please yourselves. Even while you fast, you keep oppressing your workers. What good is fasting when you keep on fighting and quarreling? This kind of fasting will never get you anywhere with me. You humble yourselves by going through the motions of penance, bowing your heads like reeds bending in the wind. You dress in burlap and cover yourselves with ashes. Is this what you call fasting? Do you really think this will please the Lord? No, this is the kind of fasting I want: Free those who are wrongly imprisoned; lighten the burden of those who work for you. Let the oppressed go free, and remove the chains that bind people. Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help.”Jeremiah 3:10“Her faithless sister Judah has never sincerely returned to me. She has only pretended to be sorry, I, the Lord, have spoken!”Amos 5:21“I hate all your show and pretense—the hypocrisy of your religious festivals and solemn assemblies.”James 1:22-25Don’t just listen to God’s word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves. For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.You may pretend with your actions, religious practices, false repentance, and superficial obedience, but God knows your heart. Even the right actions done with the wrong motives are offensive to God.Isaiah 29:13, 15So the Lord says, “These people say they are mine. They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. And their worship of me is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote. . . . What sorrow awaits those who try to hide their plans from the Lord, who do their evil deeds in the dark! “The Lord can’t see us,” they say. “He doesn’t know what’s going on!”Ezekiel 33:31“So my people come pretending to be sincere and sit before you. They listen to your words, but they have no intention of doing what you say. Their mouths are full of lustful words, and their hearts seek only after money.”Matthew 15:7-8“You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you, for he wrote, ‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.’”We may pretend before God with words and even with thoughts. If we keep doing this, we may eventually fool even ourselves into thinking our motives are sincere. Worse yet, we may conclude that God cannot see the truth about us. We would be foolish to think that God does not see through our hypocrisy.

Question 3

What are the consequences of pretending to be what I am not?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 15:8The Lord detests the sacrifice of the wicked, but he delights in the prayers of the upright.Proverbs 20:23The Lord detests double standards; he is not pleased by dishonest scales.Proverbs 21:27The sacrifice of an evil person is detestable, especially when it is offered with wrong motives.Amos 5:21“I hate all your show and pretense—the hypocrisy of your religious festivals and solemn assemblies.”God is so opposed to hypocrisy—pretending to be what we aren’t—because it reveals a dishonest heart. We risk the anger of God when we are dishonest and hypocritical.Psalm 101:7I will not allow deceivers to serve in my house, and liars will not stay in my presence.1 Peter 2:1-3So get rid of all evil behavior. Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech. Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, now that you have had a taste of the Lord’s kindness.Much of our pretending, especially as adults, grows out of the desire to deceive, which is harmful to our spiritual growth. The folly behind every deception is the assumption that if we can mislead another person, we can also mislead God. The temptation to deceive anyone should be an immediate reminder for us to repent.Psalm 25:3No one who trusts in you will ever be disgraced, but disgrace comes to those who try to deceive others.Pretending, which is often driven by a desire to avoid shame, eventually leads to disgrace. So we risk even greater shame when we are exposed.Jeremiah 7:8“‘Don’t be fooled into thinking that you will never suffer because the Temple is here. It’s a lie!”Micah 6:12The rich among you have become wealthy through extortion and violence. Your citizens are so used to lying that their tongues can no longer tell the truth.1 Timothy 4:2-3These people are hypocrites and liars, and their consciences are dead. They will say it is wrong to be married and wrong to eat certain foods. But God created those foods to be eaten with thanks by faithful people who know the truth.2 Timothy 3:13Evil people and impostors will flourish. They will deceive others and will themselves be deceived.After a while, a habit of pretending based on deceit becomes common and even acceptable to us, dulling and even killing our consciences. Eventually deceivers deceive themselves, cutting themselves off from the truth.Psalm 5:6You will destroy those who tell lies. The Lord detests murderers and deceivers.Ezekiel 14:10False prophets and those who seek their guidance will all be punished for their sins.Galatians 6:7-9Don’t be misled—you cannot mock the justice of God. You will always harvest what you plant. Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.God promises to punish all who practice deceit as a way of life, in part, because they are mocking God and failing to love their neighbors.

Question 4

How can I take off the mask and stop pretending?

Accepted Answer

Psalm 19:12-14How can I know all the sins lurking in my heart? Cleanse me from these hidden faults. Keep your servant from deliberate sins! Don’t let them control me. Then I will be free of guilt and innocent of great sin. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.Psalm 32:1-5Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sin is put out of sight! Yes, what joy for those whose record the Lord has cleared of guilt, whose lives are lived in complete honesty! When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone.Transparency with others begins with transparency before God. Pray that he will reveal the masks you cannot see, and remove all the deceptive masks that he shows you.Psalm 119:29Keep me from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your instructions.James 4:8Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.As we study God’s Word, we must humbly embrace those moments when God’s truth gets behind our defenses and reveals what needs to change. Scripture shines a light on our self-deceit and helps us to live honestly and transparently.Romans 12:9-10Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.2 Corinthians 1:12We can say with confidence and a clear conscience that we have lived with a God-given holiness and sincerity in all our dealings. We have depended on God’s grace, not on our own human wisdom. That is how we have conducted ourselves before the world, and especially toward you.2 Corinthians 6:6We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love.Ephesians 4:21-23Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception. Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.James 3:17The wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.1 Peter 1:22You were cleansed from your sins when you obeyed the truth, so now you must show sincere love to each other as brothers and sisters. Love each other deeply with all your heart.1 Peter 2:1So get rid of all evil behavior. Be done with all deceit, hypocrisy, jealousy, and all unkind speech.God’s wisdom can change our thoughts and attitudes, and then produce in us authentic, godly actions. Taking him at his word and applying his truth to our lives will lead to less masking and hypocrisy. The closer we are to God, the farther we will be from deceit.Psalm 26:4I do not spend time with liars or go along with hypocrites.Psalm 120:2Rescue me, O Lord, from liars and from all deceitful people.Luke 12:1Meanwhile, the crowds grew until thousands were milling about and stepping on each other. Jesus turned first to his disciples and warned them, “Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees—their hypocrisy.”Watch the company you keep. Deceitful friends will lead you into deeper deceit. And if you can’t be honest about your faith before your friends, you aren’t doing them any favors.Romans 12:3Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.Be honest with yourself! Ask honest friends to give you a realistic estimate of your life and actions. Good friends can often spot our deceptions before we are aware of them.Isaiah 53:9He had done no wrong and had never deceived anyone. But he was buried like a criminal; he was put in a rich man’s grave.1 Peter 2:21-22God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps. He never sinned, nor ever deceived anyone.Follow Jesus’ example. There was no hypocrisy, deceit, or pretense in him. If you have been rejected, make sure people are rejecting the real you, not a fake.