How should I respond to the imperfections of others?
Proverbs 10:12Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
Philippians 2:2-3Make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.
Colossians 3:13-15Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.
1 Peter 3:8All of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.
Imperfections and sin are not always the same thing—sometimes, personalities simply clash. But whether we are dealing with a pet peeve or sin, it is love, forbearance, and humility that should guide our response in conflict.
Matthew 10:16“Look, I [Jesus] am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves.”
Matthew 16:11-12“Why can’t you understand that I’m not talking about bread? So again I say, ‘Beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and Sadducees.’” Then at last they [the disciples] understood that he [Jesus] wasn’t speaking about the yeast in bread, but about the deceptive teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees.
Scripture warns us repeatedly to be discerning. Some issues are a matter of personal conscience and aren’t worth dividing over (see 1 Corinthians 8). Some doctrines are less significant, perhaps matters of denominational difference, but not related to foundational truths of Christian faith. Other doctrines are related to matters of orthodoxy or heresy and are critical to understanding our relationship with God. There is a difference between doctrinal disagreements and false teachings. No one has a perfect understanding of theology, and everyone makes mistakes, but if significant heresy begins to spread, it isn’t wise to let it slide.
Matthew 7:1-5“Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”
Galatians 6:1-2If another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.
Criticizing others while we are committing even greater sins is hypocrisy. Jesus sternly warns us against this double standard. Yet many Christians miss the conclusion of these verses, where after removing the log from our own eye, it would still be good to help our friend remove his speck. Sin is harmful, and if we love others, we should humbly encourage them to resist sin.
Matthew 18:15-17“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”
2 Thessalonians 3:15Don’t think of them as enemies, but warn them as you would a brother or sister.
Sometimes, confrontation or correction are necessary parts of loving others—both the person we are correcting, and the people their behavior affects. If the conflict cannot be resolved by individual conversation, bring in other believers to provide an objective perspective.
