Question 1

What is peer pressure?

Accepted Answer

1 Kings 21:25No one else so completely sold himself to what was evil in the Lord’s sight as Ahab did under the influence of his wife Jezebel.1 Kings 22:13Meanwhile, the messenger who went to get Micaiah said to him, “Look, all the prophets are promising victory for the king. Be sure that you agree with them and promise success.”Psalm 1:1-2Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. But they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night.Matthew 27:20Meanwhile, the leading priests and the elders persuaded the crowd to ask for Barabbas to be released and for Jesus to be put to death.1 Corinthians 11:1You should imitate me, just as I imitate Christ.Galatians 6:1Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.Peer pressure describes the way others can restrain or inspire behavior that you might not choose on your own. It is the push of friends or the wider culture that you can choose to ignore, take into account, or actively resist as you make decisions. God’s Word reminds us that we are still responsible for the choices we make under peer pressure, but we should be eager to help those who have experienced failure because they listened to the wrong counsel.Proverbs 16:23From a wise mind comes wise speech; the words of the wise are persuasive.Jeremiah 15:19This is how the Lord responds: “If you return to me, I will restore you so you can continue to serve me. If you speak good words rather than worthless ones, you will be my spokesman. You must influence them; do not let them influence you!”Jeremiah 26:24Nevertheless, Ahikam son of Shaphan stood up for Jeremiah and persuaded the court not to turn him over to the mob to be killed.Acts 21:14When it was clear that we couldn’t persuade him, we gave up and said, “The Lord’s will be done.”Hebrews 10:24Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.Peer pressure is someone’s positive or negative influence on your decisions, actions, thoughts, beliefs, or feelings. When it’s negative, it is meant to get you to conform or please, not necessarily do right. When peer pressure is positive, it helps you stay accountable to what is right. The Bible commends peer pressure when it leads to good decisions.

Question 2

Why do we tend to want to follow the crowd?

Accepted Answer

Exodus 23:2-3“You must not follow the crowd in doing wrong. When you are called to testify in a dispute, do not be swayed by the crowd to twist justice. And do not slant your testimony in favor of a person just because that person is poor.”Matthew 9:9-13As Jesus was walking along, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at his tax collector’s booth. “Follow me and be my disciple,” Jesus said to him. So Matthew got up and followed him. Later, Matthew invited Jesus and his disciples to his home as dinner guests, along with many tax collectors and other disreputable sinners. But when the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with such scum?” When Jesus heard this, he said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor—sick people do.” Then he added, “Now go and learn the meaning of this Scripture: ‘I want you to show mercy, not offer sacrifices.’ For I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”Peer pressure often comes from a group whose acceptance we may want—strong in number and in persuasion. We might conform in an effort to belong. During the party at Matthew’s house the night he decided to follow Jesus, there were multiple forms of peer pressure in action: The Pharisees wanted to pressure Jesus and his disciples into rejecting Matthew’s friends. Matthew’s friends came to the party due to the positive pressure of Matthew’s relationship and curiosity about the one who had so radically changed him. Jesus was practicing the peer pressure of acceptance toward Matthew’s friends, while at the same time putting pressure on the Pharisees to recognize their priorities were wrong.Matthew 18:7“What sorrow awaits the world, because it tempts people to sin. Temptations are inevitable, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting.”Romans 12:2Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.Peer pressure tempts us to conform to be like everyone else. The biblical use of the term “world” indicates that cultural pressure on us is real, though it’s often difficult to identify and hard to resist. We need to be alert and responsive to the inner pressure of the Holy Spirit who is doing the transforming work in us.Numbers 25:1-2While the Israelites were camped at Acacia Grove, some of the men defiled themselves by having sexual relations with local Moabite women. These women invited them to attend sacrifices to their gods, so the Israelites feasted with them and worshiped the gods of Moab.Deuteronomy 12:30“Do not fall into the trap of following their customs and worshiping their gods. Do not inquire about their gods, saying, ‘How do these nations worship their gods? I want to follow their example.’”2 Peter 2:18They brag about themselves with empty, foolish boasting. With an appeal to twisted sexual desires, they lure back into sin those who have barely escaped from a lifestyle of deception.Negative peer pressure is an intriguing trap, offering attractive short-term benefits. It tempts us to enjoy small rewards today at the expense of greater rewards in the future.

Question 3

How can I tell the difference between good and bad peer pressure?

Accepted Answer

Matthew 7:20“Just as you can identify a tree by its fruit, so you can identify people by their actions.”Hebrews 12:13Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.3 John 1:11Dear friend, don’t let this bad example influence you. Follow only what is good. Remember that those who do good prove that they are God’s children, and those who do evil prove that they do not know God.Compare the claims others make with the quality of their lives. Include in your circle of friends and counselors people whose lives have demonstrated integrity. Never make a significant change in direction without consulting with someone you know will tell you the truth.Genesis 3:1-7The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?” “Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’” “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.” The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves.Exodus 23:2-3“You must not follow the crowd in doing wrong. When you are called to testify in a dispute, do not be swayed by the crowd to twist justice. And do not slant your testimony in favor of a person just because that person is poor.”Numbers 25:1-2While the Israelites were camped at Acacia Grove, some of the men defiled themselves by having sexual relations with local Moabite women. These women invited them to attend sacrifices to their gods, so the Israelites feasted with them and worshiped the gods of Moab.Any course of action presented as harmless “because everyone is doing it” is almost certainly a bad decision. Any course of action that assumes God cannot be trusted will move you in an evil direction.1 John 2:10Anyone who loves a fellow believer is living in the light and does not cause others to stumble.Good peer pressure will always encourage you towards living a more godly life while bad peer pressure will always lead you away from godly living. Are your friends encouraging you toward God or away from him?Proverbs 14:7Stay away from fools, for you won’t find knowledge on their lips.Proverbs 16:23From a wise mind comes wise speech; the words of the wise are persuasive.2 Corinthians 5:11Because we understand our fearful responsibility to the Lord, we work hard to persuade others. God knows we are sincere, and I hope you know this, too.Colossians 2:4I am telling you this so no one will deceive you with well-crafted arguments.Consider the source of the peer pressure. Are the peers wise, sincere, and authentic? Do they care what God thinks, or not? Does God’s Word have to be twisted or ignored in order to go along with the pressure?

Question 4

How might I best handle peer pressure?

Accepted Answer

1 Kings 22:13-14Meanwhile, the messenger who went to get Micaiah said to him, “Look, all the prophets are promising victory for the king. Be sure that you agree with them and promise success.” But Micaiah replied, “As surely as the Lord lives, I will say only what the Lord tells me to say.”Proverbs 4:27Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.Matthew 1:20, 24When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife.Luke 20:21“Teacher,” they said, “we know that you speak and teach what is right and are not influenced by what others think. You teach the way of God truthfully.”Acts 4:16-20“What should we do with these men?” they asked each other. “We can’t deny that they have performed a miraculous sign, and everybody in Jerusalem knows about it. But to keep them from spreading their propaganda any further, we must warn them not to speak to anyone in Jesus’ name again.” So they called the apostles back in and commanded them never again to speak or teach in the name of Jesus. But Peter and John replied, “Do you think God wants us to obey you rather than him? We cannot stop telling about everything we have seen and heard.”2 Corinthians 6:8-10We serve God whether people honor us or despise us, whether they slander us or praise us. We are honest, but they call us impostors. We are ignored, even though we are well known.Galatians 6:8-10Those who live only to satisfy their own sinful nature will harvest decay and death from that sinful nature. But those who live to please the Spirit will harvest everlasting life from the Spirit. So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up. Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone—especially to those in the family of faith.Realize that negative pressure from people and culture may come with painful consequences if you fail to reject it. Train yourself to live by God’s standards, which will help you develop the conviction to keep strong even when tempted. The Bible contains the absolute truths by which all people should live, the truths that lead you on the right path.Exodus 23:2“You must not follow the crowd in doing wrong. When you are called to testify in a dispute, do not be swayed by the crowd to twist justice.”Psalm 1:1-2Oh, the joys of those who do not follow the advice of the wicked, or stand around with sinners, or join in with mockers. But they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night.Proverbs 14:7Stay away from fools, for you won’t find knowledge on their lips.Proverbs 24:1Don’t envy evil people or desire their company.Proverbs 27:17As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.1 Corinthians 15:33Don’t be fooled by those who say such things, for “bad company corrupts good character.”Perhaps the most obvious and most practical way to resist negative peer pressure is to choose wise peers. If you can’t resist friends who constantly lead you to do wrong, you might need to stay away from them until you have the strength to resist their temptations. Always consider God’s Word as the ultimate test for pressure, taking delight in knowing what God says.Psalm 119:143As pressure and stress bear down on me, I find joy in your commands.Luke 20:21“Teacher,” they said, “we know that you speak and teach what is right and are not influenced by what others think. You teach the way of God truthfully.”Acts 17:11The people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul’s message. They searched the Scriptures day after day to see if Paul and Silas were teaching the truth.Before you do what others want, first think about what God wants and what God says in his Word. When you take time to consider his advice, as found in the Bible, you will know if your peers are trying to persuade you to do the wrong thing. It is easier to resist bad influences when you are grounded in God’s Word and committed to obeying it.Matthew 14:9The king regretted what he had said; but because of the vow he had made in front of his guests, he issued the necessary orders.Never let pride or the risk of embarrassment keep you from making the right choice. Keep your motives pure. Pride and embarrassment are poor motives for your choices.Psalm 101:4I will reject perverse ideas and stay away from every evil.Isaiah 8:11The Lord has given me a strong warning not to think like everyone else does.Remember that thinking like everyone else is not always the right way to think. The crowd doesn’t always move in the right direction. Truth found in God’s Word is never just one of several opinions to be considered in making a decision. What Scripture teaches is always reliable in the face of overwhelming opposition.Genesis 39:10She [Potiphar’s wife] kept putting pressure on Joseph day after day, but he refused to sleep with her, and he kept out of her way as much as possible.Proverbs 1:10My child, if sinners entice you, turn your back on them!1 Corinthians 10:13The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.Hebrews 2:18Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help us when we are being tested.Hebrews 4:15This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.James 4:7So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.Everyone goes through times of temptation. Even Jesus was repeatedly tempted. How we deal with temptation keeps us from or leads us into sin. We resist or yield to temptation depending on how important God is to us. When God is our top priority, we will be close enough to him to notice how he is showing us ways to resist the temptations bombarding us.

Question 5

Is all peer pressure bad?

Accepted Answer

James 4:17Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.Some peer pressure is good. Positive peer pressure will always hold us accountable to the things that God calls us to do.

Peer Pressure