Question 1

What does the Bible say about the role of parents?

Accepted Answer

Luke 11:11-13“You fathers—if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.”Hebrews 12:5-11Have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.” As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?Parents must love their children. That means more than just giving them good gifts; it also involves discipline.1 Samuel 8:1-3As Samuel grew old, he appointed his sons to be judges over Israel. Joel and Abijah, his oldest sons, held court in Beersheba. But they were not like their father, for they were greedy for money. They accepted bribes and perverted justice.Proverbs 1:8My child, listen when your father corrects you. Don’t neglect your mother’s instruction.2 Timothy 3:15You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood.Parents are to take responsibility for teaching their children to love God and his Word. This requires more than being an example. Yet eventually children bear the responsibility for their own lives.Deuteronomy 4:9“But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren.”Deuteronomy 6:6-9“You must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”Ephesians 6:4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.Parents are responsible not only to teach their children biblical values, but also to consistently model for them lives of obedience.Proverbs 3:12The Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.Ephesians 6:4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.Hebrews 12:11No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.Parents are to discipline their children with consistency and out of love, not anger. Parental anger often produces angry children, leading to another generation of angry parents.Genesis 25:28Isaac loved Esau . . . but Rebekah loved Jacob.Genesis 37:3-4Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other children because Joseph had been born to him in his old age. So one day Jacob had a special gift made for Joseph—a beautiful robe. But his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved him more than the rest of them. They couldn’t say a kind word to him.Parents are not to show favoritism between children. The results are tragic and have negative consequences for generations.Deuteronomy 4:9-10“Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren. Never forget the day when you stood before the Lord your God at Mount Sinai, where he told me, ‘Summon the people before me, and I will personally instruct them. Then they will learn to fear me as long as they live, and they will teach their children to fear me also.’”1 Samuel 2:29“Why do you [Eli] give your sons more honor than you give me [the Lord]—for you and they have become fat from the best offerings of my people Israel!”Parents must make sure that God is honored as the head of the household. Eli’s sons were rarely challenged and never disciplined. Too often the home revolves around the children instead of around God. Parents do their children a favor when they sincerely seek what God wants for their children, not what they want. Indulgent parents do not help their children develop character and often enable self-destructive tendencies in their children.Luke 15:20“So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him.”The mark of a loving parent is a willingness to forgive.

Question 2

How should I discipline my children?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 13:24Those who spare the rod of discipline hate their children. Those who love their children care enough to discipline them.Hebrews 12:7-11As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all. Since we respected our earthly fathers who disciplined us, shouldn’t we submit even more to the discipline of the Father of our spirits, and live forever? For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.Discipline your children with love. If you have their safety and well-being in mind, you will need to disciple them in order to protect them.Proverbs 19:18Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives.Discipline is almost always most effective when done right away because it makes the cause and effect of the punishment more relevant. Small children may need more discipline when they are younger to teach them what is safe and right. As your children grow up, you will probably need to discipline them less and less as they put into practice the things they have learned from your loving correction.Ephesians 6:4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.Never discipline out of anger because the only thing it teaches a child is to react in anger. If you are angry, calm down before you discipline. When you are calm enough to discipline, be sure to explain to your children what they did wrong, that you love you them, and instruct them in how to do better next time. Then they will not only learn from their mistakes; they will also learn how to react in love, not anger. But remember also that failing to discipline your children does not communicate genuine love to them.Colossians 3:21Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.Discipline should be done without causing long-term aggravation and discouragement. Aggravating your children only takes the focus off your love and concern for them. This is discouraging for children because they don’t see the point of the discipline, only the discipline itself. They may not be ready to accept the reason and your motivation for discipline, but they will remember it later.Hebrews 12:10Our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness.The Bible is full of wisdom on how to deal with children and the proper perspective on them. God presents himself as the ultimate example of wise parenting. Commit these words of wisdom to heart and devote yourself to putting them into practice.

Question 3

What if I’m parenting a stubborn prodigal?

Accepted Answer

2 Samuel 18:32-33“What about young Absalom?” the king demanded. “Is he all right?” And the Ethiopian replied, “May all of your enemies, my lord the king, both now and in the future, share the fate of that young man!” The king was overcome with emotion. He went up to the room over the gateway and burst into tears. And as he went, he cried, “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you! O Absalom, my son, my son.”Proverbs 10:1A wise child brings joy to a father; a foolish child brings grief to a mother.Luke 15:13-19“A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living. About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. He persuaded a local farmer to hire him, and the man sent him into his fields to feed the pigs. The young man became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything. When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, ‘At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and here I am dying of hunger! I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’”James 5:19-20If someone among you wanders away from the truth and is brought back, you can be sure that whoever brings the sinner back will save that person from death and bring about the forgiveness of many sins.Parenting a rebellious prodigal is heartbreaking, and there are no guarantees of relief. Entrust that child to God. Realize you may not have direct influence on whether or not that child comes back. Pray God will put others and circumstances in their path that point them towards home.

Question 4

In what ways can biblical parenting be fun?

Accepted Answer

Deuteronomy 6:4-9“Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”Job 1:4-5Job’s sons would take turns preparing feasts in their homes, and they would also invite their three sisters to celebrate with them. When these celebrations ended—sometimes after several days—Job would purify his children. He would get up early in the morning and offer a burnt offering for each of them. For Job said to himself, “Perhaps my children have sinned and have cursed God in their hearts.” This was Job’s regular practice.Proverbs 22:6Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.Malachi 4:6His preaching will turn the hearts of fathers to their children, and the hearts of children to their fathers. Otherwise I will come and strike the land with a curse.Since God designed the family to be a healthy environment for growth, children respond to activities that are fun and attitudes that are positive. Remembering the principle of teachable moments, parents can use the regular times of sharing meals, greeting the day, travel, and the bedtime rituals to express tenderness, laughter, truth, and reminders of God’s presence. God’s purpose is not to insist we be child-centered, but child sensitive in our family life.

Question 5

What are the best gifts I can give my children?

Accepted Answer

Genesis 27:1-3One day when Isaac was old and turning blind, he called for Esau, his older son, and said, “My son.” “Yes, Father?” Esau replied. “I am an old man now,” Isaac said, “and I don’t know when I may die. Take your bow and a quiver full of arrows, and go out into the open country to hunt some wild game for me.”Genesis 49:1-2Then Jacob called together all his sons and said, “Gather around me, and I will tell you what will happen to each of you in the days to come. Come and listen, you sons of Jacob; listen to Israel, your father.”1 Chronicles 16:43Then all the people returned to their homes, and David turned and went home to bless his own family.Matthew 3:16-17After his baptism, as Jesus came up out of the water, the heavens were opened and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove and settling on him. And a voice from heaven said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy.”Matthew 17:4-5Peter blurted out, “Lord, it’s wonderful for us to be here! If you want, I’ll make three shelters as memorials—one for you, one for Moses, and one for Elijah.” But even as he spoke, a bright cloud came over them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy. Listen to him.”1 John 2:12-14I am writing to you who are God’s children because your sins have been forgiven through Jesus. I am writing to you who are mature in the faith because you know Christ, who existed from the beginning. I am writing to you who are young in the faith because you have won your battle with the evil one. I have written to you who are God’s children because you know the Father. I have written to you who are mature in the faith because you know Christ, who existed from the beginning. I have written to you who are young in the faith because you are strong. God’s word lives in your hearts, and you have won your battle with the evil one.Blessing our children by word and deed has powerful biblical precedent. Whenever we deliver good into our children’s lives, we are blessing them. Even Jesus benefitted from his Father’s spoken blessing over his life. Consider, like John in his letter, writing out a blessing for each your children that expresses your deepest delight over them and your vision of a hopeful future for them.

Question 6

How are children to relate to parents?

Accepted Answer

Genesis 46:29Joseph prepared his chariot and traveled to Goshen to meet his father, Jacob. When Joseph arrived, he embraced his father and wept, holding him for a long time.Exodus 20:12“Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long, full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”Mark 7:12-13“In this way, you let them disregard their needy parents. And so you cancel the word of God in order to hand down your own tradition. And this is only one example among many others.”Luke 2:51-52He [Jesus] returned to Nazareth with them [Joseph and Mary] and was obedient to them. And his mother stored all these things in her heart. Jesus grew in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and all the people.Ephesians 6:1Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord.Even if you disagree with your parents, you must still show them honor, respect, and obedience. These actions not only benefit your parents; they foster health and growth in your own life.

Question 7

What if I am a single parent or grew up in a single-parent home?

Accepted Answer

Psalm 68:5Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—this is God, whose dwelling is holy.James 1:27Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress.God has a special place in his heart for those who are lonely or abandoned. He expects his people, the church, to emulate his care for those who do not have the full support of parents.

Question 8

In a screen-driven world, how can we raise children to stay grounded in faith and meaningful connection?

Accepted Answer

Romans 12:10-11Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.Teach your children that a device cannot replace people. Model behavior that shows what affection and delight of others looks like without the distraction of screens.Ephesians 5:16Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days.Encourage your children to view time as a valuable resource—one they can’t create more of or recover once it’s gone. Talk with them about how to use their time wisely and make the most of each moment they’ve been given.Proverbs 4:23Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.As parents, we are called to protect our children’s hearts and minds. This includes being mindful of what they watch and listen to—recognizing how it shapes their thoughts and behaviors. Giving a child unrestricted access to the internet increases the potential for exposure to inappropriate content, cyberbullying, and online predators. While the internet can offer educational resources, parental guidance and controls are crucial to ensure a safe, online environment for kids.Romans 12:2Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.Talk with your children about how culture influences us through screens—and how God way offers something better.

Parents/Parenting