Question 1

What are good manners?

Accepted Answer

Romans 13:13We must live decent lives for all to see. Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy.1 Timothy 5:1-2Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father. Talk to younger men as you would to your own brothers. Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.Decent and appropriate behavior is the foundation for good manners.Proverbs 11:22A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout.Philippians 1:9-10I pray that your love will overflow more and more, and that you will keep on growing in knowledge and understanding. For I want you to understand what really matters, so that you may live pure and blameless lives until the day of Christ’s return.People who show good manners value discretion and discernment.Leviticus 19:3“Each of you must show great respect for your mother and father, and you must always observe my Sabbath days of rest. I am the Lord your God.”Leviticus 19:14, 32“Do not insult the deaf or cause the blind to stumble. You must fear your God; I am the Lord. . . . Stand up in the presence of the elderly, and show respect for the aged. Fear your God. I am the Lord.”Job 29:8-10“The young stepped aside when they saw me, and even the aged rose in respect at my coming. The princes stood in silence and put their hands over their mouths. The highest officials of the city stood quietly, holding their tongues in respect.”Romans 13:7Give to everyone what you owe them: Pay your taxes and government fees to those who collect them, and give respect and honor to those who are in authority.1 Corinthians 16:10, 16–16When Timothy comes, don’t intimidate him. He is doing the Lord’s work, just as I am. . . You know that Stephanas and his household were the first of the harvest of believers in Greece, and they are spending their lives in service to God’s people. I urge you, dear brothers and sisters, to submit to them and others like them who serve with such devotion.2 Corinthians 7:15Now he cares for you more than ever when he remembers the way all of you obeyed him and welcomed him with such fear and deep respect.1 Peter 2:17Respect everyone, and love the family of believers. Fear God, and respect the king.Having good manners involves showing respect to everyone, especially those in authority.Genesis 24:17-19Running over to her, the servant said, “Please give me a little drink of water from your jug.” “Yes, my lord,” she answered, “have a drink.” And she quickly lowered her jug from her shoulder and gave him a drink. When she had given him a drink, she said, “I’ll draw water for your camels, too, until they have had enough to drink.”2 Samuel 9:1One day David asked, “Is anyone in Saul’s family still alive—anyone to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan’s sake?”Acts 28:2The people of the island were very kind to us. It was cold and rainy, so they built a fire on the shore to welcome us.Kindness inspires manners that go above and beyond what is expected.Proverbs 3:27Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them.Those with good manners are quick to notice and meet the needs of others.Genesis 18:1-8The Lord appeared again to Abraham near the oak grove belonging to Mamre. One day Abraham was sitting at the entrance to his tent during the hottest part of the day. He looked up and noticed three men standing nearby. When he saw them, he ran to meet them and welcomed them, bowing low to the ground. “My lord,” he said, “if it pleases you, stop here for a while. Rest in the shade of this tree while water is brought to wash your feet. And since you’ve honored your servant with this visit, let me prepare some food to refresh you before you continue on your journey.” “All right,” they said. “Do as you have said.” So Abraham ran back to the tent and said to Sarah, “Hurry! Get three large measures of your best flour, knead it into dough, and bake some bread.” Then Abraham ran out to the herd and chose a tender calf and gave it to his servant, who quickly prepared it. When the food was ready, Abraham took some yogurt and milk and the roasted meat, and he served it to the men. As they ate, Abraham waited on them in the shade of the trees.Genesis 24:25“Yes, we have plenty of straw and feed for the camels, and we have room for guests.”Acts 10:23So Peter invited the men to stay for the night. The next day he went with them, accompanied by some of the brothers from Joppa.Acts 16:15She [Lydia] and her household were baptized, and she asked us to be her guests. “If you agree that I am a true believer in the Lord,” she said, “come and stay at my home.” And she urged us until we agreed.Acts 28:7Near the shore where we landed was an estate belonging to Publius, the chief official of the island. He welcomed us and treated us kindly for three days.Hebrews 13:2Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!Hospitality is an offering of kindness, helpfulness, and respect—a powerful example of good manners.Job 13:5“If only you could be silent! That’s the wisest thing you could do.”Proverbs 10:32The lips of the godly speak helpful words, but the mouth of the wicked speaks perverse words.Proverbs 15:28The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words.Ephesians 4:29Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.Colossians 4:5-6Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.Good manners are often expressed (or ruined) by our choice of words.Genesis 41:14Pharaoh sent for Joseph at once, and he was quickly brought from the prison. After he shaved and changed his clothes, he went in and stood before Pharaoh.Grooming and hygiene show respect toward others and are signs of good manners.Genesis 33:10Jacob insisted, “No, if I have found favor with you, please accept this gift from me. And what a relief to see your friendly smile. It is like seeing the face of God!”1 Corinthians 10:27If someone who isn’t a believer asks you home for dinner, accept the invitation if you want to. Eat whatever is offered to you without raising questions of conscience.We demonstrate good manners by being gracious recipients of the hospitality and generosity offered by others.

Question 2

In what ways do good manners exemplify godly character?

Accepted Answer

Exodus 34:6The Lord passed in front of Moses, calling out, “Yahweh! The Lord! The God of compassion and mercy! I am slow to anger and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.”Psalm 23:5You prepare a feast for me in the presence of my enemies. You honor me by anointing my head with oil. My cup overflows with blessings.Psalm 86:15You, O Lord, are a God of compassion and mercy, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love and faithfulness.Psalm 145:13Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom. You rule throughout all generations. The Lord always keeps his promises; he is gracious in all he does.Joel 2:13“Don’t tear your clothing in your grief, but tear your hearts instead.” Return to the Lord your God, for he is merciful and compassionate, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. He is eager to relent and not punish.Jonah 4:2So he complained to the Lord about it: “Didn’t I say before I left home that you would do this, Lord? That is why I ran away to Tarshish! I knew that you are a merciful and compassionate God, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. You are eager to turn back from destroying people.”Luke 4:22Everyone spoke well of him and was amazed by the gracious words that came from his lips. “How can this be?” they asked. “Isn’t this Joseph’s son?”John 1:16From his abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another.Romans 3:24God, in his grace, freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.Ephesians 4:32Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.1 Timothy 1:14Oh, how generous and gracious our Lord was! He filled me with the faith and love that come from Christ Jesus.Graciousness is the heart of politeness, and God is the ultimate example of graciousness. Like him, we should be kind, generous, and forgiving, seeking to strengthen and heal relationships.Ephesians 5:8Once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light!1 John 2:24, 29So you must remain faithful to what you have been taught from the beginning. If you do, you will remain in fellowship with the Son and with the Father. . . . Since we know that Christ is righteous, we also know that all who do what is right are God’s children.1 John 3:7Dear children, don’t let anyone deceive you about this: When people do what is right, it shows that they are righteous, even as Christ is righteous.Our right behavior can be evidence of our relationship with God. Our moral and ethical behavior reflects the character of our good God, whom we love and want to please.

Question 3

How can we develop good manners?

Accepted Answer

Titus 2:12We are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God.2 Peter 1:5-7Make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.We develop good manners when we are devoted to God and know him.Galatians 5:22-23The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!We develop good manners when we allow the Holy Spirit to direct our lives.Matthew 7:12“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets.”1 Peter 3:8Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.We develop good manners when we cultivate loving, thoughtful attitudes toward others.Proverbs 1:3Their purpose is to teach people to live disciplined and successful lives, to help them do what is right, just, and fair.Luke 11:28Jesus replied, “But even more blessed are all who hear the word of God and put it into practice.”2 Timothy 3:16All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.We develop good manners when we study the Scriptures and live by the truth we find there.Proverbs 20:11Even children are known by the way they act, whether their conduct is pure, and whether it is right.Titus 2:2-3Teach the older men to exercise self-control, to be worthy of respect, and to live wisely. They must have sound faith and be filled with love and patience. Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good.Childhood is the best launching point for developing our sense of good manners, but it is never too late to learn.Matthew 25:34-40“The King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, . . . For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’ Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’”Romans 12:13When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality.We develop good manners when we get into the habit of reaching out to others.

Question 4

Why are good manners important to relationships?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 3:3-4Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation.Good manners bring a good reputation, which is essential to trusting, healthy relationships.Ephesians 5:33So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.1 Peter 3:1-3In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.1 Peter 3:7In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.Good manners help husbands and wives show thoughtfulness to each other, which positively affects a marriage.Exodus 18:7So Moses went out to meet his father-in-law. He bowed low and kissed him. They asked about each other’s welfare and then went into Moses’ tent.Ephesians 6:1, 4Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. . . . Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.1 Timothy 3:4He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him.Good manners positively affect our families and the relationships between their parents and children.Deuteronomy 24:15“You must pay them their wages each day before sunset because they are poor and are counting on it. If you don’t, they might cry out to the Lord against you, and it would be counted against you as sin.”Ephesians 6:5Slaves, obey your earthly masters with deep respect and fear. Serve them sincerely as you would serve Christ.Colossians 4:1Masters, be just and fair to your slaves. Remember that you also have a Master—in heaven.Both bosses and employees deserve respect. Good manners are a blessing to any business environment. Good manners positively affect businesses and how well they work.Romans 12:10Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.Romans 15:2We should help others do what is right and build them up in the Lord.We should seek to please others. If we do what helps them, we will build them up in the Lord.Galatians 6:2Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.Ephesians 4:32Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.Good manners positively affect church life because they demonstrate a sincere desire to serve others and be a blessing to them.1 Thessalonians 4:12Then people who are not believers will respect the way you live, and you will not need to depend on others.1 Peter 2:12Be careful to live properly among your unbelieving neighbors. Then even if they accuse you of doing wrong, they will see your honorable behavior, and they will give honor to God when he judges the world.Good manners positively affect life in our communities because they show a desire to help others and befriend them. This serves as a powerful witness to unbelievers.Proverbs 15:1A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.Luke 17:4“Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.”Ephesians 4:31-32Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.Colossians 3:13Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.Good manners protect and heal relationships. A respectful response to anger can defuse great tension. Asking for forgiveness—and offering it—is essential to restoring damaged relationships.

Manners