How can I be a good listener?

Job 2:13They [Job’s friends] sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.

Romans 12:15Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.

Galatians 6:2Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.

Good listening begins with the heart. When someone is in pain, patient listening and silent comforting are often the best gift we can give them. When someone is joyful, we can strengthen that joy by listening as they share their excitement.

Acts 11:1-4, 18Soon the news reached the apostles and other believers in Judea that the Gentiles had received the word of God. But when Peter arrived back in Jerusalem, the Jewish believers criticized him. “You entered the home of Gentiles and even ate with them!” they said. Then Peter told them exactly what had happened. . . . When the others heard this, they stopped objecting and began praising God. They said, “We can see that God has also given the Gentiles the privilege of repenting of their sins and receiving eternal life.”

Being a good listener involves asking questions. Joseph wanted to listen to how his brothers answered this question because their answer would reveal whether their hearts had changed. The Jewish believers wanted to know why Peter disobeyed the Jewish laws and ate with gentiles. When they listened to Peter’s answer, they realized this was part of God’s plan all along, and they rejoiced! Asking the right questions and keeping an open mind is essential to good listening.

Acts 17:11The people of Berea were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, and they listened eagerly to Paul’s message. They searched the Scriptures day after day to see if Paul and Silas were teaching the truth.

1 John 4:1Do not believe everyone who claims to speak by the Spirit. You must test them to see if the spirit they have comes from God. For there are many false prophets in the world.

An open mind is different from gullibility. An open mind listens to different perspectives and puts them to the test. A gullible mind merely accepts every passing idea as true. We should listen patiently and fairly, but be discerning in what we choose to believe.

Proverbs 15:32If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.

Being a good listener involves an openness to advice. To grow in understanding, we must be willing to accept correction when we make mistakes.

Proverbs 15:28The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words.

The godly think before speaking.

James 1:19You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

Being a good listener often involves saying less and carefully choosing our words.