Question 1

Why is jealousy so dangerous?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 14:30A peaceful heart leads to a healthy body; jealousy is like cancer in the bones.Proverbs 27:4Anger is cruel, and wrath is like a flood, but jealousy is even more dangerous.Jealousy is destructive, like cancer, by pushing us to focus on the destructive emotions of anger and bitterness rather than on being content with who we are and what we have.Genesis 13:7So disputes broke out between the herdsmen of Abram and Lot. (At that time Canaanites and Perizzites were also living in the land.)Genesis 30:1-3When Rachel saw that she wasn’t having any children for Jacob, she became jealous of her sister. She pleaded with Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!” Then Jacob became furious with Rachel. “Am I God?” he asked. “He’s the one who has kept you from having children!” Then Rachel told him, “Take my maid, Bilhah, and sleep with her. She will bear children for me, and through her I can have a family, too.”Genesis 37:11, 18, 24, 28While his brothers were jealous of Joseph, his father wondered what the dreams meant. . . . When Joseph’s brothers saw him coming, they recognized him in the distance. As he approached, they made plans to kill him. . . . Then they grabbed him and threw him into the cistern. Now the cistern was empty; there was no water in it. . . . So when the Ishmaelites, who were Midianite traders, came by, Joseph’s brothers pulled him out of the cistern and sold him to them for twenty pieces of silver. And the traders took him to Egypt.Jealousy is divisive and often tears families and friends apart because it embraces a spirit of negative competition.

Question 2

What does the description of God as “jealous” mean?

Accepted Answer

Exodus 20:4-5“You must not make for yourself an idol of any kind or an image of anything in the heavens or on the earth or in the sea. You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me.”Jealousy is usually described in negative terms, but it can also mean “a demand for complete devotion.” In this respect, a husband and wife are supposed to be jealous for each other, expecting that they will share their most intimate love with no one else. Likewise, God is jealous for the undivided devotion of his people. When people give their honor, praise, and love elsewhere, God is jealous that the honor due him has been squandered. Because God deserves all our honor, praise, and love, our worship of him alone is an honest recognition of what he deserves.Exodus 34:14“You must worship no other gods, for the Lord, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you.”Deuteronomy 5:9“You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me.”Deuteronomy 32:21“They have roused my jealousy by worshiping things that are not God; they have provoked my anger with their useless idols. Now I will rouse their jealousy through people who are not even a people; I will provoke their anger through the foolish Gentiles.”Zechariah 1:14Then the angel said to me, “Shout this message for all to hear: ‘This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: My love for Jerusalem and Mount Zion is passionate and strong.’”We cannot love God and someone or something else equally. God’s jealousy is not petty but springs from deep love and a desire for our best interests. Jealousy understood like this is essential to trust in any relationship. Because God deserves all our honor, praise, and love, this honest emotion recognizes that divided loyalties (between God and our idols) only harms our relationship with him and therefore deeply harms us.

Question 3

In what ways can jealousy affect my life?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 12:12Thieves are jealous of each other’s loot, but the godly are well rooted and bear their own fruit.Jealousy can lead to theft. Thieves steal out of jealousy and lust for someone else’s money. Generous people, on the other hand, love to give.Judges 12:1Then the people of Ephraim mobilized an army and crossed over the Jordan River to Zaphon. They sent this message to Jephthah: “Why didn’t you call for us to help you fight against the Ammonites? We are going to burn down your house with you in it!”Jealousy can make enemies of friends. The twelve tribes of Israel were once friends and brothers, united in the common cause of building a nation under God. When the tribe of Ephraim wasn’t called to participate in a big victory, they threatened to burn down the houses of their countrymen. Jealousy can make us act in ways that we would never otherwise consider. We should not let jealousy and pettiness drive a wedge between us and our friends and relatives.Genesis 4:4-8Abel also brought a gift—the best portions of the firstborn lambs from his flock. The Lord accepted Abel and his gift, but he did not accept Cain and his gift. This made Cain very angry, . . . One day Cain suggested to his brother, “Let’s go out into the fields.” And while they were in the field, Cain attacked his brother, Abel, and killed him.1 Samuel 18:9-11So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David. The very next day . . . David was playing the harp, as he did each day. But Saul had a spear in his hand, and he suddenly hurled it at David, intending to pin him to the wall.Acts 17:5-6Some of the Jews were jealous, so they gathered some troublemakers from the marketplace to form a mob and start a riot. They attacked the home of Jason, searching for Paul and Silas so they could drag them out to the crowd. Not finding them there, they dragged out Jason and some of the other believers instead and took them before the city council.Jealousy for attention or affection can drive a person to extreme action, even to harm or kill others. The first murder recorded in the Bible, when Cain killed his brother Abel, was the result of jealousy. Saul’s jealousy of David drove him insane. Envy and jealousy destroy not only the person who feels them, but often leads them to attack those who are the objects of their envy and jealousy. While we may not attack people with spears as Saul did, we may use sharp words and piercing comments, which can also be dangerous.Galatians 5:22-26The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.If we seek the character traits that come from the Holy Spirit, we will learn to fight petty human jealousy and the hard feelings that come from the competition for attention and popularity.1 Samuel 18:6-12When the victorious Israelite army was returning home after David had killed the Philistine, women from all the towns of Israel came out to meet King Saul. They sang and danced for joy with tambourines and cymbals. his was their song: “Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands!” This made Saul very angry. “What’s this?” he said. “They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. Next they’ll be making him their king!” So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David. The very next day a tormenting spirit from God overwhelmed Saul, and he began to rave in his house like a madman. David was playing the harp, as he did each day. But Saul had a spear in his hand, and he suddenly hurled it at David, intending to pin him to the wall. But David escaped him twice. Saul was then afraid of David, for the Lord was with David and had turned away from Saul.Notice the progression of jealousy in the life of King Saul: (1) Saul suddenly became afraid David might replace him; (2) Saul was tormented by a jealous spirit; (3) Saul’s jealousy led him to uncontrolled rage; (4) Saul became paranoid, and began a passionate, lifelong pursuit to harm David. This consumed him to the point that Saul could think of nothing else and became ineffective for God.

Question 4

How can I deal with jealousy?

Accepted Answer

Genesis 30:1When Rachel saw that she wasn’t having any children for Jacob, she became jealous of her sister. She pleaded with Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!”Instead of enjoying the favor and love of her husband, Rachel focused on her inability to give Jacob children. In her pain, she became jealous of her sister, Leah. We can deal with jealousy by being thankful and enjoying what we have instead of focusing on what we don’t have. We should be especially careful about this during times of trials and pain since a natural response is to focus on the bad in our lives during those times.Matthew 20:15“‘Is it against the law for me to do what I want with my money? Should you be jealous because I am kind to others?’”The cure for jealousy is gratitude. Jealousy reveals selfishness. We want for ourselves what someone else has. Jealousy shows a smallness of heart that resents the blessings and joys of others. The inability to rejoice in another’s success or good fortune limits our own capacity for joy.John 21:19-22Jesus said this to let him know by what kind of death he would glorify God. Then Jesus told him, “Follow me.” Peter turned around and saw behind them the disciple Jesus loved—the one who had leaned over to Jesus during supper and . . . Peter asked Jesus, “What about him, Lord?” Jesus replied, “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.”To prevent jealousy, we should keep our focus on God and accept that he has a specific path set for each of his followers. When Peter heard Jesus’ prophecy of his death, he wondered what would happen to the other disciple (John). Jesus made clear that Peter was to pay attention to his own concerns, not those of others. In many situations, we may be tempted to compare our lot in life with someone else’s. Jesus rebukes this attitude because it shows discontent with God’s plan and stirs dissent among people.

Question 5

How can jealousy hinder a leader’s effectiveness?

Accepted Answer

1 Samuel 18:6-9When the victorious Israelite army was returning home after David had killed the Philistine, women from all the towns of Israel came out to meet King Saul. They sang and danced for joy with tambourines and cymbals. This was their song: “Saul has killed his thousands, and David his ten thousands!” This made Saul very angry. “What’s this?” he said. “They credit David with ten thousands and me with only thousands. Next they’ll be making him their king!” So from that time on Saul kept a jealous eye on David.James 3:14-16If you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.Leaders can be crippled by jealousy and drive their greatest supporters away. In this context, we are defining envy primarily as desiring what we don’t have and jealousy as possessiveness and fear of losing what we do have (though the words are often used interchangeably). Saul was jealous that he would lose the devotion and loyalty of the people because of their admiration for David. Wise leaders learn to celebrate, not compete, with others.Acts 17:5-6Some of the Jews were jealous, so they gathered some troublemakers from the marketplace to form a mob and start a riot. They attacked the home of Jason, searching for Paul and Silas so they could drag them out to the crowd. Not finding them there, they dragged out Jason and some of the other believers instead and took them before the city council.Jealousy can make leaders act in ways that are completely opposed to the values they profess and teach. Jealousy for attention or affection drove the Jewish leaders to manipulation and to extreme action, even seeking to harm or kill others.

Question 6

When is jealousy appropriate?

Accepted Answer

Exodus 20:5“You must not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God who will not tolerate your affection for any other gods. I lay the sins of the parents upon their children; the entire family is affected—even children in the third and fourth generations of those who reject me.”2 Corinthians 11:1-2Please bear with me. For I am jealous for you with the jealousy of God himself. I promised you as a pure bride to one husband—Christ.Jealousy is proper, indeed essential, in the sense of keeping ourselves wholly devoted to God and loving him above all others.