Question 1

When I have been hurt, how can I find healing?

Accepted Answer

Ecclesiastes 8:9I have thought deeply about all that goes on here under the sun, where people have the power to hurt each other.Romans 3:23For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.Because we were created as a relational beings, we have the capacity to hurt others. Because we are sinners, we will hurt others. And because we are human, we will experience pain as a result of our own and others’ imperfections. Much of the hurt we feel is unintentional, an unavoidable part of living in a broken world. We should try not to take it personally.2 Samuel 18:33The king was overcome with emotion. He went up to the room over the gateway and burst into tears. And as he went, he cried, “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you! O Absalom, my son, my son.”Ecclesiastes 3:4A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.Acts 20:37They all cried as they embraced and kissed him good-bye.2 Corinthians 2:4I wrote that letter in great anguish, with a troubled heart and many tears. I didn’t want to grieve you, but I wanted to let you know how much love I have for you.We need to express our pain—privately to God and to our friends or even publicly. Unexpressed pain can fester inside us, driving us toward unhealthy emotions such as depression or bitterness.Psalm 6:2Have compassion on me, Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony.Psalm 22:24He [the Lord] has not ignored or belittled the suffering of the needy. He has not turned his back on them, but has listened to their cries for help.Psalm 34:18The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.Psalm 119:76Now let your unfailing love comfort me, just as you promised me, your servant.Isaiah 51:12“I, yes I, am the one who comforts you. So why are you afraid of mere humans, who wither like the grass and disappear?”To find healing, we should meditate on the knowledge that God compassionately cares for us and focus on his loving character. The one who made us is the best one to heal us.Psalm 19:8The commandments of the Lord are right, bringing joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are clear, giving insight for living.Psalm 119:28, 50, 52, 92I weep with sorrow; encourage me by your word. . . . Your promise revives me; it comforts me in all my troubles. . . . I meditate on your age-old regulations; O Lord, they comfort me. . . . If your instructions hadn’t sustained me with joy, I would have died in my misery.When we have been hurt, we can look to God’s Word as a source of comfort and healing. The words are from God himself and bring healing and hope.Psalm 30:11You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy,Psalm 126:5-6Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest.Psalm 147:3He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.Romans 8:23We believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us.God does not promise believers a life free from pain and suffering. But Christians have a relationship with a God who helps us through our hurts, comforts us in our hurts, and sometimes miraculously heals our hurts. But most importantly, we have a God who will one day take away all of our hurts. Whatever pain we are experiencing is temporary; it will end, perhaps here on earth, but certainly in eternity.Genesis 50:15, 19-21Now that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers became fearful. “Now Joseph will show his anger and pay us back for all the wrong we did to him,” they said. . . . But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So he reassured them by speaking kindly to them.Psalm 44:16All we hear are the taunts of our mockers. All we see are our vengeful enemies.We shouldn’t fixate on hurtful words from hurtful people. Meditating on others’ unkindness can consume our thoughts and reopen painful wounds. Instead, we should allow Scripture’s healing words to soothe our hurts.Genesis 33:4Then Esau ran to meet him and embraced him, threw his arms around his neck, and kissed him. And they both wept.Forgiveness is a miraculous medicine to heal our brokenness. We should accept it gladly.

Question 2

How can God use my pain and my hurtful situations to glorify himself?

Accepted Answer

2 Corinthians 12:9-10Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.God can use our weakness and pain to reveal his strength and power. It is often through pain that we most vividly experience God’s work in our lives.2 Corinthians 4:18So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.Philippians 1:29You have been given not only the privilege of trusting in Christ but also the privilege of suffering for him.Hebrews 10:34-37You suffered along with those who were thrown into jail, and when all you owned was taken from you, you accepted it with joy. You knew there were better things waiting for you that will last forever. So do not throw away this confident trust in the Lord. Remember the great reward it brings you! Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God’s will. Then you will receive all that he has promised. “For in just a little while, the Coming One will come and not delay.”God can use our pain to help us gain an eternal perspective—a fresh way of looking at our circumstances.Job 6:10“At least I can take comfort in this: Despite the pain, I have not denied the words of the Holy One.”Psalm 44:22For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.1 Peter 4:1So then, since Christ suffered physical pain, you must arm yourselves with the same attitude he had, and be ready to suffer, too. For if you have suffered physically for Christ, you have finished with sin.God can use our pain as an opportunity for us to demonstrate our loyalty to him and share a shining witness to the world.Romans 5:3-4We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.James 1:2-4Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.1 Peter 1:7These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.Hurtful situations can strengthen our faith, develop our endurance, and mold our character.Psalm 51:17The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit. You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.Lamentations 1:20Lord, see my anguish! My heart is broken and my soul despairs, for I have rebelled against you. In the streets the sword kills, and at home there is only death.2 Corinthians 7:9Now I am glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to repent and change your ways. It was the kind of sorrow God wants his people to have, so you were not harmed by us in any way.James 4:9Let there be tears for what you have done. Let there be sorrow and deep grief. Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy.God can use painful situations to bring about personal remorse and a change of heart to help us grow closer to him and make the right choices in the future.Psalm 41:3The Lord nurses them when they are sick and restores them to health.Pain is an opportunity for God to minister to his people. When pain comes, we dare not miss the signs of God’s tender care.Hebrews 12:11No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.God can use painful discipline to grow and strengthen our self-control.

Question 3

How should I respond to those who hurt me?

Accepted Answer

Matthew 6:14-15“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”Matthew 18:21-22Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”Mark 11:25“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”Luke 17:3-4“So watch yourselves! If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.”Luke 23:34Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”Forgiveness is not an option; it is a command. Forgiveness is necessary for our own health and our relationship with God. Jesus gave us the perfect example of forgiveness. Forgiveness doesn’t mean we claim our hurts don’t exist or don’t matter, nor does forgiveness make everything all right. Forgiveness allows us to let go of the hurt and let God deal with the ones who hurt us. Forgiveness sets us free. Forgiveness allows us to move on with our lives. This way is not always easy, but forgiving others who have hurt us is the healthiest act we can do for ourselves.Genesis 50:15, 19-21Now that their father was dead, Joseph’s brothers became fearful. “Now Joseph will show his anger and pay us back for all the wrong we did to him,” they said. . . . But Joseph replied, “Don’t be afraid of me. Am I God, that I can punish you? You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people. No, don’t be afraid. I will continue to take care of you and your children.” So he reassured them by speaking kindly to them.Proverbs 20:22Don’t say, “I will get even for this wrong.” Wait for the Lord to handle the matter.Luke 6:27-29“But to you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also.”1 Peter 3:8-9Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.We should wait for the Lord to take care of matters his way. God wants us to respond with love and blessing rather than retaliation.1 Corinthians 13:5It [love] does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.Colossians 3:13Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.We can sometimes avoid being hurt by being less sensitive to others’ faults, offenses, and wrongs toward us. Every person is a flawed, broken human. Just as Christ forgave us, we also should forgive others.

Question 4

How might I hurt others without realizing it?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 15:20Sensible children bring joy to their father; foolish children despise their mother.Proverbs 17:21It is painful to be the parent of a fool; there is no joy for the father of a rebel.Proverbs 19:13A foolish child is a calamity to a father; a quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping.Ecclesiastes 8:9I have thought deeply about all that goes on here under the sun, where people have the power to hurt each other.Ephesians 6:4Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.Colossians 3:13Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.Our potential for wounding others is greatest in our closest relationships, especially with members of our own family.2 Kings 21:10-12Then the Lord said through his servants the prophets: “King Manasseh of Judah has done many detestable things. He is even more wicked than the Amorites, who lived in this land before Israel. He has caused the people of Judah to sin with his idols. So this is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: I will bring such disaster on Jerusalem and Judah that the ears of those who hear about it will tingle with horror.”Joshua 7:24-25Then Joshua and all the Israelites took Achan, the silver, the robe, the bar of gold, his sons, daughters, cattle, donkeys, sheep, goats, tent, and everything he had, and they brought them to the valley of Achor. Then Joshua said to Achan, “Why have you brought trouble on us? The Lord will now bring trouble on you.” And all the Israelites stoned Achan and his family and burned their bodies.Hebrews 12:15Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many.Sin rarely has singular consequences. Like a stone dropped in a pool, it has ever-widening circles of influence and consequence.Job 6:25Honest words can be painful, but what do your criticisms amount to?Psalm 64:3-4They sharpen their tongues like swords and aim their bitter words like arrows. They shoot from ambush at the innocent, attacking suddenly and fearlessly.Proverbs 18:8Rumors are dainty morsels that sink deep into one’s heart.2 Timothy 2:16-17Avoid worthless, foolish talk that only leads to more godless behavior. This kind of talk spreads like cancer, as in the case of Hymenaeus and Philetus.Our words can be hurtful to others. They can fly out like poisoned arrows, and once shot, they cannot be retrieved. Whether we aim these words with intent to harm or not, they impact others’ lives. Even a glancing shot leaves a cut and allows poison to spread.2 Samuel 19:5-7Then Joab went to the king’s room and said to him, “We saved your life today and the lives of your sons, your daughters, and your wives and concubines. Yet you act like this, making us feel ashamed of ourselves. You seem to love those who hate you and hate those who love you. You have made it clear today that your commanders and troops mean nothing to you. It seems that if Absalom had lived and all of us had died, you would be pleased. Now go out there and congratulate your troops, for I swear by the Lord that if you don’t go out, not a single one of them will remain here tonight. Then you will be worse off than ever before.”How we react when we are hurt can cause hurt to others.Exodus 23:8“Take no bribes, for a bribe makes you ignore something that you clearly see. A bribe makes even a righteous person twist the truth.”Proverbs 29:5To flatter friends is to lay a trap for their feet.Ephesians 4:25So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body.Deception and manipulation hurts others, leads them into sin, and destroys trust.Proverbs 10:26Lazy people irritate their employers, like vinegar to the teeth or smoke in the eyes.Isaiah 2:22Don’t put your trust in mere humans. They are as frail as breath. What good are they?We can hurt those who depend on us ost by taking advantage of them of taking them or taking them for grant ed.

Question 5

How can I help people who are hurting?

Accepted Answer

Psalm 69:20Their insults have broken my heart, and I am in despair. If only one person would show some pity; if only one would turn and comfort me.1 Peter 3:8Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.To help people who are hurting, we can listen to them and offer them empathy and comfort. Insults and cruel words are abrasive, wounding the heart. Attention, empathy, and comfort bring healing.Job 30:16“And now my life seeps away. Depression haunts my days.”Proverbs 15:13A glad heart makes a happy face; a broken heart crushes the spirit.Proverbs 17:22A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person’s strength.To help people who are hurting, we should understand the effect deep hurt has on a person’s spirit, mind, and body. Awareness leads to sympathy; sympathy leads to empathy; empathy leads to comforting, and comforting leads to healing.Romans 12:15Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.1 Corinthians 12:26If one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it, and if one part is honored, all the parts are glad.Hebrews 13:3Remember those in prison, as if you were there yourself. Remember also those being mistreated, as if you felt their pain in your own bodies.To help people who are hurting, we should share in their sorrows as much as we share in their joys.2 Corinthians 1:4He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.To help people who are hurting, we can share our experiences of God’s comfort with them. God’s healing in us may bring hope and healing to others.1 Peter 5:12I have written and sent this short letter to you with the help of Silas, whom I commend to you as a faithful brother. My purpose in writing is to encourage you and assure you that what you are experiencing is truly part of God’s grace for you. Stand firm in this grace.To help people who are hurting, we can encourage the brokenhearted. Words of comfort can lift up a hurting person.Job 2:13Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.Job 16:2“I have heard all this before. What miserable comforters you are!”Job 21:34“How can your empty clichés comfort me? All your explanations are lies!”Proverbs 12:18Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.Lamentations 1:16“For all these things I weep; tears flow down my cheeks. No one is here to comfort me; any who might encourage me are far away. My children have no future, for the enemy has conquered us.”To help hurting people, we must be careful with the words we offer them. Explanations and clichés are rarely comforting. Love, sympathy, and the power of our presence are needed. Sometimes the best comfort we can give is to simply be with the brokenhearted in their pain.Matthew 7:5“Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”Romans 1:12When we get together, I want to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours.1 Thessalonians 3:7So we have been greatly encouraged in the midst of our troubles and suffering, dear brothers and sisters, because you have remained strong in your faith.To help people who are hurting, we should remain strong but honest in our faith. Those weakened by hurt are encouraged by seeing others who have gained strength as they overcame their own hurt. Christians sometimes pretend to have their lives all together and fail to share the deep pain of their trials. This may be well-meaning—an attempt at showing optimism—but hiding hurt can hinder our growth and undermine the help we could offer others. Hiding our hurt can promote a culture of dishonesty, hidden pain, and despair. The only way to bless others from our hurts is to ask God to help us confront our hurts honestly. Then we will have the experience and wisdom to help others as they face their own.Job 42:11Then all his brothers, sisters, and former friends came and feasted with him in his home. And they consoled him and comforted him because of all the trials the Lord had brought against him. And each of them brought him a gift of money and a gold ring.Psalm 68:6God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy. But he makes the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.Mark 16:10She went to the disciples, who were grieving and weeping, and told them what had happened.John 11:33-35When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within him, and he was deeply troubled. “Where have you put him?” he asked them. They told him, “Lord, come and see.” Then Jesus wept.Our help for hurting people should begin with our family and friends. Family life must be a safe haven from a wounding world. The family haven should be both a healing clinic and a training camp where we learn to cope with and conquer wounding influences.

Hurts/Hurting