How can I forgive someone who has hurt me deeply?

Matthew 6:14-15“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Mark 11:25“When you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.”

We will receive God’s forgiveness only when we are willing to forgive others who have wronged us. Being unwilling to forgive shows that we have not understood or benefited from God’s forgiveness.

Matthew 5:44“But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!”

Forgiveness means praying for those who hate and hurt us. This releases us from the destructive emotions of anger, bitterness, and revenge.

Ephesians 4:31Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior.

An unforgiving attitude not only ruins our relationships, but it also poisons our souls. It is we ourselves who suffer the most from our unforgiveness.

Ephesians 4:32Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

God’s forgiveness is the motivation and the model for our forgiveness of others. If God has forgiven us, how can we refuse to forgive someone who has wronged us? Our forgiveness, like God’s, is a gift of grace, free to the recipient yet often costly to the giver.

Romans 12:19Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord.

Punishing evildoers is God’s job, not ours, and God can be trusted to administer justice. Therefore, we can remove ourselves from the endless cycle of revenge and retaliation by forgiving.

Luke 23:34Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”

Jesus forgave even those who mocked and killed him. We should be more concerned about our offenders and their relationship with God than about nursing our grudges and self-pity.

1 Peter 3:8-9Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.

When people say hurtful things about us, God calls us to respond by blessing them.