How can I be more flexible in my relationships?

Romans 14:1-4Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong. For instance, one person believes it’s all right to eat anything. But another believer with a sensitive conscience will eat only vegetables. Those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don’t. And those who don’t eat certain foods must not condemn those who do, for God has accepted them. Who are you to condemn someone else’s servants? Their own master will judge whether they stand or fall. And with the Lord’s help, they will stand and receive his approval.

Sometimes, we and other believers have different convictions about how to best live out our faith. Some have personal rules they follow to help resist temptation or honor God in a specific way. Some minor theological issues are full of uncertainty, and orthodox Christians hold different understandings. As long as no one is denying Scripture or following false teachings, we are called to be respectful of one another’s convictions. Ultimately, we will all be held accountable to the Lord.

James 3:17The wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.

With the wisdom God provides, we can learn to see others through God’s eyes. This prevents us from judging people by our own standards.

2 Corinthians 13:11Dear brothers and sisters, I close my letter with these last words: Be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you.

We can reach out to others to encourage them.

Genesis 13:7-9So disputes broke out between the herdsmen of Abram and Lot. (At that time Canaanites and Perizzites were also living in the land.) Finally Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not allow this conflict to come between us or our herdsmen. After all, we are close relatives! The whole countryside is open to you. Take your choice of any section of the land you want, and we will separate. If you want the land to the left, then I’ll take the land on the right. If you prefer the land on the right, then I’ll go to the left.”

Genesis 29:28So Jacob agreed to work seven more years. A week after Jacob had married Leah, Laban gave him Rachel, too.

1 Kings 3:26Then the woman who was the real mother of the living child, and who loved him very much, cried out, “Oh no, my lord! Give her the child—please do not kill him!” But the other woman said, “All right, he will be neither yours nor mine; divide him between us!”

We can give up something we value in order to accommodate the interests of others, even when they don’t deserve it. This offer of peace can calm the tension in a relationship and demonstrate our love for others.

Ruth 1:16Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.”

We can commit ourselves to another person in some special way. Commitment requires a great deal of flexibility, as we must be willing to treat the desires and needs of others above our own.

1 Samuel 14:6-7“Let’s go across to the outpost of those pagans,” Jonathan said to his armor bearer. “Perhaps the Lord will help us, for nothing can hinder the Lord. He can win a battle whether he has many warriors or only a few!” “Do what you think is best,” the armor bearer replied. “I’m with you completely, whatever you decide.”

We can serve others, even sacrificially.

John 13:3-6, 12-17Jesus knew that the Father had given him authority over everything and that he had come from God and would return to God. So he got up from the table, took off his robe, wrapped a towel around his waist, and poured water into a basin. Then he began to wash the disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel he had around him. . . . When Jesus came to Simon Peter, Peter said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” After washing their feet, he put on his robe again and sat down and asked, “Do you understand what I was doing? You call me ‘Teacher’ and ‘Lord,’ and you are right, because that’s what I am. And since I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you ought to wash each other’s feet. I have given you an example to follow. Do as I have done to you. I tell you the truth, slaves are not greater than their master. Nor is the messenger more important than the one who sends the message. Now that you know these things, God will bless you for doing them.”

1 Timothy 5:10She must be well respected by everyone because of the good she has done. Has she brought up her children well? Has she been kind to strangers and served other believers humbly? Has she helped those who are in trouble? Has she always been ready to do good?

We can be a role model of flexibility and service. Jesus washing the disciples’ feet was the ultimate example of flexibility and service: the God of the universe bending down to scrub dust and manure from travel-worn feet. Only the lowest servant was required to do such a task, but, apparently, no servant was available. Jesus saw that need and left his position of honor in order to meet it. Then he called his disciples to do the same.