What does loving my enemies mean?

Matthew 5:43-44“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!”

1 Peter 3:8-9All of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.

Showing love to one’s enemies sounds unreasonable unless we realize that we were God’s enemies until he forgave us. When we love an enemy, we see him or her as Christ does—a person in need of grace. Getting to that point takes prayer and the Holy Spirit’s work in our hearts. When we pray for someone, it cultivates compassionate feelings for that person. This is how we can refrain from retaliating when someone hurts us, and this is how God can turn an enemy into a friend.

Jeremiah 29:7“Work for the peace and prosperity of the city where I sent you into exile. Pray to the Lord for it, for its welfare will determine your welfare.”

Matthew 5:43-48“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike. If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. If you are kind only to your friends, how are you different from anyone else? Even pagans do that. But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.”

Luke 6:27-29, 35“To you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. . . . Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked.”

Acts 7:59-60As they stoned him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” He fell to his knees, shouting, “Lord, don’t charge them with this sin!” And with that, he died.

Romans 12:19Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord.

Loving our enemies means not taking revenge. In fact, Stephen, the first martyr, loved and forgave his enemies even as they were killing him.

Luke 10:36-37“Now which of these three would you say was a neighbor to the man who was attacked by bandits?” Jesus asked. The man replied, “The one who showed him mercy.” Then Jesus said, “Yes, now go and do the same.”

Romans 12:20-21Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

Loving our enemies includes helping them when they are in need. Jesus’ parable of the Good Samaritan is a strong example of this. At the time of Jesus, Jews and Samaritans were enemies, so the Samaritan in Jesus’ parable had good reason to leave the Jewish man to die. Instead, he spent time, effort, and money on caring for the man’s injuries and finding him food and shelter. Jesus was careful to make the point that, in loving our neighbors as ourselves, even our enemy is our neighbor.

Matthew 6:12-15“Forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us. And don’t let us yield to temptation, but rescue us from the evil one. If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Matthew 18:21-22Peter came to him [Jesus] and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!”

Luke 23:34Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.” And the soldiers gambled for his clothes by throwing dice.

1 Corinthians 4:13We appeal gently when evil things are said about us. Yet we are treated like the world’s garbage, like everybody’s trash—right up to the present moment.

Sometimes, enemies do terrible things to us. Surely, we think, God’s command to forgive must have a limit. God doesn’t require us to trust those who would hurt us, but he does call us to love them. God’s love and forgiveness for us has no limit, and we were once his enemies! We should strive to live with that same love. This does not mean, however, that we should accept evil or even seem to approve it by our silence (see Matthew 18:15-17; Galatians 6:1). This includes verbal, physical, and sexual abuse by a family or church member. “Turning the other cheek” does not mean passively accepting abuse. Those sinful actions need to be confronted and reported to authorities who can intervene and friends and counselors who can help. We can forgive our enemies and people who hurt us while also creating and maintaining healthy boundaries that protect ourselves and the vulnerable.

Genesis 45:5-15“Don’t be upset, and don’t be angry with yourselves for selling me to this place. It was God who sent me here ahead of you to preserve your lives. This famine that has ravaged the land for two years will last five more years, and there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. God has sent me ahead of you to keep you and your families alive and to preserve many survivors. So it was God who sent me here, not you! And he is the one who made me an adviser to Pharaoh—the manager of his entire palace and the governor of all Egypt. “Now hurry back to my father and tell him, ‘This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me master over all the land of Egypt. So come down to me immediately! You can live in the region of Goshen, where you can be near me with all your children and grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and everything you own. I will take care of you there, for there are still five years of famine ahead of us. Otherwise you, your household, and all your animals will starve.’” Then Joseph added, “Look! You can see for yourselves, and so can my brother Benjamin, that I really am Joseph! Go tell my father of my honored position here in Egypt. Describe for him everything you have seen, and then bring my father here quickly.” Weeping with joy, he embraced Benjamin, and Benjamin did the same. Then Joseph kissed each of his brothers and wept over them, and after that they began talking freely with him.

Job 31:29-30“Have I ever rejoiced when disaster struck my enemies, or become excited when harm came their way? No, I have never sinned by cursing anyone or by asking for revenge.

Proverbs 24:17-18Don’t rejoice when your enemies fall; don’t be happy when they stumble. For the Lord will be displeased with you and will turn his anger away from them.

Control of our actions is important, but if “loving our enemies” never reaches our hearts, then we have missed the point.

Luke 6:27-29, 35“To you who are willing to listen, I say, love your enemies! Do good to those who hate you. Bless those who curse you. Pray for those who hurt you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, offer the other cheek also. If someone demands your coat, offer your shirt also. . . . Love your enemies! Do good to them. Lend to them without expecting to be repaid. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to those who are unthankful and wicked.

Romans 12:19Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord.

God calls us to respond to our enemies with prayer, kindness, and gentle words. Instead of revenge or ill will, we should show forgiveness. This is what Jesus would do, and this is how we shine his light in the world.

Isaiah 53:7He was oppressed and treated harshly, yet he never said a word. He was led like a lamb to the slaughter. And as a sheep is silent before the shearers, he did not open his mouth.

Matthew 5:44“I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!”

1 Peter 3:9Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.

At times, our best response to opposition will be no response at all. By repaying evil for evil, we stoop to fighting on their terms, and we separate ourselves from God’s righteous power. We should pray for those who oppose us and try to love them. No matter how much opposition we experience, we must continue to do right and trust God.