How should I respond when I’m discriminated against?

Psalm 4:2How long will you people ruin my reputation? How long will you make groundless accusations? How long will you continue your lies?

Psalm 6:7My vision is blurred by grief; my eyes are worn out because of all my enemies.

Psalm 35:15-17I am attacked by people I don’t even know; they slander me constantly. They mock me and call me names; they snarl at me. How long, O Lord, will you look on and do nothing? Rescue me from their fierce attacks.

Lamentations 3:49-50My tears flow endlessly; they will not stop until the Lord looks down from heaven and sees.

Sometimes discrimination is the burden of implicit bias. Other times, discrimination is the grave injustice of explicit bias and prejudice that hurts us deeply. Still other times, it is the buildup of both implicit and explicit discrimination that leads to frustration and despair. Many biblical heroes experienced injustice and cruelty from their enemies. In response, they grieved. They cried out. They expressed their pain to God and called for him to act. This practice is called lament. The first step to overcoming the hurt we experience from discrimination is acknowledging that hurt honestly before God.

Proverbs 6:16-19There are six things the Lord hates—no, seven things he detests: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that kill the innocent, a heart that plots evil, feet that race to do wrong, a false witness who pours out lies, a person who sows discord in a family.

Isaiah 1:17Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.

Acts 3:14“You rejected this holy, righteous one and instead demanded the release of a murderer.”

God hates injustice. When we are grieving and angry over the injustice of discrimination, he is too. Jesus himself experienced a corrupt trial and an unjust death. Know that God doesn’t just see your hurt—he feels it, too.

1 Peter 2:1-3Let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Think of all the hostility he endured from sinful people; then you won’t become weary and give up.

1 Peter 2:20Of course, you get no credit for being patient if you are beaten for doing wrong. But if you suffer for doing good and endure it patiently, God is pleased with you.

To say that discrimination isn’t fair is an understatement. It’s natural to be angry at injustice. Still, don’t stoop to fighting fire with fire. Lashing out at others falls short of reflecting Christ’s character and only gives others an excuse for their discrimination. Endure persecution with patience and pursue justice in an appropriate way—and know your efforts will not go unnoticed by God.

1 Timothy 4:12Don’t let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you say, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity.

If others doubt you, distrust you, or think less of you because of your age, gender, race, disability, etc., then continue living like Christ and allow your godly character to disprove their prejudices. You cannot control what other people think of you or how they treat you, but you can live in a way that undermines their false assumptions. In time, that may open some peoples’ eyes.

Matthew 18:15-17“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”

Galatians 6:1Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path.

Don’t be too quick to assume the worst of others. Many people don’t even realize they are prejudiced and discriminating against others. It takes someone speaking up to help them understand the problem and begin to change. Start with approaching people privately and confront them with gentleness and humility. This will reduce the chances of their feeling defensive and help them consider your words more thoughtfully. If this is unsuccessful, you may need to take further steps as outlined in Matthew 18.

Isaiah 1:17Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed. Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows.

Luke 18:7-8“Will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

Romans 12:19Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back,” says the Lord.

There is a difference between pursuing justice and pursuing revenge. Justice is change for the better. Revenge inflicts pain to get even. God calls us to pursue justice, not revenge, and he promises that he is the final Judge. There are some injustices that humans ignore and even perpetuate (sexism, racism, ablism, ageism, classism, etc.). Despite our efforts, change is often slow or incomplete. In such instances, pray—not as an alternative to action, but as a guidance for your actions. Ask God for wisdom in how to respond to injustice and trust that he is acting against injustice too.

Matthew 5:44-48“Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. . . . If you love only those who love you, what reward is there for that? Even corrupt tax collectors do that much. . . . But you are to be perfect, even as your Father in heaven is perfect.”

Acts 7:59-60As they stoned him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” He fell to his knees, shouting, “Lord, don’t charge them with this sin!” And with that, he died.

Jesus didn’t stop with avoiding revenge. He called us to love our enemies. Stephen, the first martyr, prayed for his enemies even as they killed him! Such love is incredibly difficult—but incredibly powerful. It plants a seed that can break through the hardest soil.

Acts 8:1Saul [also known as Paul] was one of the witnesses, and he agreed completely with the killing of Stephen.

Acts 9:1-2Meanwhile, Saul was uttering threats with every breath and was eager to kill the Lord’s followers. . . . He wanted to bring them—both men and women—back to Jerusalem in chains.

1 Timothy 1:15-16This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all. But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life.

Saul led the charge in murdering and imprisoning those who believed in Jesus. Yet God changed him and used him in incredible ways. After Jesus appeared to him, Saul became known as the apostle Paul and preached the same Good News he had once persecuted. No matter how badly we have been hurt, we cannot put certain sins—and certain sinners—outside the reach of God’s grace. Like Paul, the one who persecutes you can also be changed by the grace of God.

Matthew 5:43-45“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven.”

Matthew 6:14-15“If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Romans 5:8God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.

Our world views forgiveness as something that belongs to us, to give or withhold as we choose. Hating our enemies is considered good and natural. But Jesus flipped that on its head. He gave us forgiveness when we had done nothing to deserve his grace, and he gave it at great cost to himself. He calls us to do the same for those who have hurt us. When you forgive someone who has discriminated against you, you are not saying that discrimination is excusable, or that your hurt is not real, or that you will put yourself in a position where you might be harmed. Ultimately, forgiveness is about a change in your heart. It is choosing to pray for their repentance rather than for their downfall. In this way, we imitate the love our heavenly Father has for us.