How can I avoid unintentionally discriminating against someone?
Proverbs 26:18-19Just as damaging as a madman shooting a deadly weapon is someone who lies to a friend and then says, “I was only joking.”
Matthew 12:36“I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak.”
Ephesians 5:4Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes—these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God.
Careless words and tasteless jokes about sex, race, or disability can reinforce prejudices and make people feel uncomfortable and unwelcome.
Romans 12:9Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good.
While it is wise to watch our words, trying to be politically correct and avoid offence is too low a bar. To overcome our ingrained biases, we must intentionally choose to love and appreciate those who are different from us.
Proverbs 12:1To learn, you must love discipline; it is stupid to hate correction.
Matthew 5:23-24“So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.”
Accepting correction is wise. However, seeking out correction is wiser. Don’t just rely on others to call out your prejudices—actively learn how you can do better. Ask questions. Read articles. Watch interviews. Ponder Scripture. Then take what you learn and live it out. This approach is called a “growth mindset,” and it is a healthy habit for all believers throughout their lives.
Proverbs 15:22Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.
James 1:19Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
In group settings, minorities (a woman in a male-dominated field, a young person in a room of older and more experienced people, etc.), might feel less confident in making their thoughts heard. Seek out the thoughts and opinions of those people, and take the time to listen. Showing them that you trust and value them may encourage them to speak up more confidently in the future.
Psalm 139:13-14You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
1 Corinthians 12:19-21, 27How strange a body would be if it [a human body] had only one part! Yes, there are many parts, but only one body. The eye can never say to the hand, “I don’t need you.” The head can’t say to the feet, “I don’t need you.” . . . All of you together are Christ’s body, and each of you is a part of it.
While it’s wise to value the unique backgrounds of others, it’s unwise to push someone forward as a “representative” of a people group (as if they could possibly speak for an entire group’s full range of experiences). Each person is an individual, and most individuals want to be treated as “Steve” or “Jalen” or “Anna,” not as “the disabled guy” or “the black guy” or “our female engineer.” Value people for the entirety of who they are. Don’t reduce them to a single concept as though that defines their entire personality or talents.
Colossians 3:11In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.
Ephesians 2:19-21So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God’s holy people. You are members of God’s family. . . . We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord.
While understanding differences is important, understanding what we have in common binds us together: a shared hobby, a similar sense of humor, a relatable parenting experience, or, most significantly, the same hope in Christ! When we identify these points of connection, we are able to build bonds while still respecting differences.
Galatians 6:7-9You will always harvest what you plant. . . . So let’s not get tired of doing what is good.
Philippians 4:8And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.
Changing our thought patterns and correcting our biases takes conscious and repeated effort.
Luke 10:30-33Jesus replied with a story: “A Jewish man was traveling from Jerusalem down to Jericho, and he was attacked by bandits. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him up, and left him half dead beside the road. By chance a priest came along. But when he saw the man lying there, he crossed to the other side of the road and passed him by. A Temple assistant walked over and looked at him lying there, but he also passed by on the other side. Then a despised Samaritan came along, and when he saw the man, he felt compassion for him.”
When someone is different from us in some way, we might feel anxious about interacting with them. It’s easy to “pass by” such people. In the case of the good Samaritan, he had a very good reason to be anxious. Jews hated Samaritans! Yet the Good Samaritan still went out of his way to care for the injured Jewish man. Our discrimination might not be rooted in hatred, but simply anxiety and unfamiliarity. A good way to overcome discrimination is by tolerating our own discomfort and crossing the road to meet others different from us.
1 Corinthians 9:20-21When I was with the Jews, I lived like a Jew to bring the Jews to Christ. When I was with those who follow the Jewish law, I too lived under that law. Even though I am not subject to the law, I did this so I could bring to Christ those who are under the law. When I am with the Gentiles who do not follow the Jewish law, I too live apart from that law so I can bring them to Christ. But I do not ignore the law of God; I obey the law of Christ.
Galatians 3:28There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.
Colossians 3:11In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us.
Some well-meaning people claim they are “colorblind” and don’t see race. Unfortunately, that mindset often leaves a message of “I don’t acknowledge the significance of your culture and I’d prefer for you to fit into my culture.” Race is more than skin tone. It’s a culture. It’s a context. In a similar way, men and women, young and old, rich and poor, urban and rural, each have their own cultural contexts we should seek to understand. People in the early church came from wildly different cultural experiences. A Roman soldier had a very different life than a Jewish woman. A Greek scholar had little in common with a “barbarian” from Scythia (modern-day Ukraine). Paul’s letters don’t deny the cultural differences within the body of Christ. However, Paul does deny the idea that those differences overshadow the unity we have in Christ. Paul was an expert at finding common ground with others and learning to live in their cultural contexts (rather than forcing others to change to match his cultural context). We should aspire to live in that same way. When we respect and appreciate others—their heritage, their food, their customs, their way of life—that shows we care about them.
Acts 10:15-29The voice spoke again: “Do not call something unclean if God has made it clean.” The same vision was repeated three times. . . . Peter was very perplexed. What could the vision mean? Just then the men sent by Cornelius found Simon’s house. . . . Meanwhile, as Peter was puzzling over the vision, the Holy Spirit said to him, “Three men have come looking for you. Get up, go downstairs, and go with them without hesitation. Don’t worry, for I have sent them.” So Peter went down and said, “I’m the man you are looking for. Why have you come?” They said, “We were sent by Cornelius, a Roman officer.” . . . Peter told them, “You know it is against our laws for a Jewish man to enter a Gentile home like this or to associate with you. But God has shown me that I should no longer think of anyone as impure or unclean.”
Peter grew up in a Jewish culture that forbade eating with Gentiles. It took multiple visions and repeated promptings from the Holy Spirit to prepare Peter for his meeting with Cornelius, the first Gentile convert. We, too, may need several promptings and experiences to become comfortable interacting with different kinds of people. Seek out such experiences: Watch a movie, read a book, or join a bowling league with people who come from different backgrounds than you. Visit a church that’s primarily a different race than your own. Stepping outside our comfort zone can have great benefits—just ask Peter.
Leviticus 19:33–34“Do not take advantage of foreigners who live among you in your land. Treat them like native-born Israelites, and love them as you love yourself. Remember that you were once foreigners living in the land of Egypt. I am the Lord your God.”
Matthew 28:19“Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.”
Sadly, it can be easy to donate to mission work for people in a distant culture, yet feel uncomfortable or even hostile when people from that same culture move in down the street. Our money and our prayers can make a great difference in peoples’ lives, but love is put to its truest test when we live it out face to face.
Acts 8:1Saul was one of the witnesses, and he agreed completely with the killing of Stephen.
Acts 9:1-2Meanwhile, Saul was uttering threats with every breath and was eager to kill the Lord’s followers. . . . He wanted to bring them—both men and women—back to Jerusalem in chains.
1 Timothy 1:15-16This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all. But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life.
Saul led the charge in murdering and imprisoning believers. Yet God changed him and used him in incredible ways. After Jesus appeared to him, Saul became known as the apostle Paul and preached the same Good News he had once persecuted! Paul could never undo the grief and hurt he had caused, but by the grace of God, he repented and was changed. Don’t believe the lie that it is “too late” for you to learn to love people you once feared or hated. Just as God changed Paul, he can change you.
Acts 22:17-21“After I returned to Jerusalem, I was praying in the Temple and fell into a trance. I saw a vision of Jesus saying to me, ‘Hurry! Leave Jerusalem, for the people here won’t accept your testimony about me.’ ‘But Lord,’ I argued, ‘they certainly know that in every synagogue I imprisoned and beat those who believed in you. And I was in complete agreement when your witness Stephen was killed. I stood by and kept the coats they took off when they stoned him.’ But the Lord said to me, ‘Go, for I will send you far away to the Gentiles!’”
Philippians 3:5I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law.
Paul assumed God would want him to minister to Jewish people. After all, Paul was a Jewish as they came! He understood their culture, their history, and their values. But instead, God called Paul to reach the Gentiles (non-Jewish people), and Paul learned to interact with Gentiles in ways that respected their culture and values (see 1 Corinthians 9:20-21). Consider this: Is God calling you to work with people who are different from you in some way?
