Question 1

What causes us to reach a point of despair?

Accepted Answer

1 Samuel 28:16-19Samuel replied, “Why ask me, since the Lord has left you and has become your enemy? The Lord has done just as he said he would. He has torn the kingdom from you and given it to your rival, David. The Lord has done this to you today because you refused to carry out his fierce anger against the Amalekites.”Isaiah 59:2-5It’s your sins that have cut you off from God. Because of your sins, he has turned away and will not listen anymore.Isaiah 59:9So there is no justice among us, and we know nothing about right living. We look for light but find only darkness. We look for bright skies but walk in gloom.Ezekiel 12:19“‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says . . .: They will eat their food with trembling and sip their water in despair, for their land will be stripped bare because of their violence.’”Lamentations 1:20Lord, see my anguish! My heart is broken and my soul despairs, for I have rebelled against you. In the streets the sword kills, and at home there is only death.Matthew 27:3-5When Judas, who had betrayed him, realized that Jesus had been condemned to die, he was filled with remorse. So he took the thirty pieces of silver back to the leading priests and the elders. “I have sinned,” he declared, “for I have betrayed an innocent man.” “What do we care?” they retorted. “That’s your problem.” Then Judas threw the silver coins down in the Temple and went out and hanged himself.Alienation from God due to a lifestyle of sin without remorse quickly causes us to lose hope. The farther we move from the God of hope, the closer we move to hopelessness and despair.Psalm 25:16Turn to me and have mercy, for I am alone and in deep distress.Human beings were created for relationship, specifically a relationship with God. When we do not have that relationship, we feel a terrible emptiness and loneliness that we cannot fill no matter how hard we try.Job 7:6“My days fly faster than a weaver’s shuttle. They end without hope.”Job 17:11“My days are over. My hopes have disappeared. My heart’s desires are broken.”Lamentations 3:18I cry out, “My splendor is gone! Everything I had hoped for from the Lord is lost!”Luke 16:23-31He [the rich man] went to the place of the dead. There, in torment, he saw Abraham in the far distance with Lazarus at his side. The rich man shouted, “Father Abraham, have some pity! Send Lazarus over here to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue. I am in anguish in these flames.” But Abraham said to him, “Son, remember that during your lifetime you had everything you wanted, and Lazarus had nothing. So now he is here being comforted, and you are in anguish. And besides, there is a great chasm separating us. No one can cross over to you from here, and no one can cross over to us from there”Ultimately, hope depends on our certainty about the future. If we cut ourselves off from God, we cut ourselves off from the One who knows the future. Losing sight of the future we have in God leads us to uncertainty, which ultimately can only end in despair.2 Samuel 17:23When Ahithophel realized that his advice had not been followed, he saddled his donkey, went to his hometown, set his affairs in order, and hanged himself. He died there and was buried in the family tomb.Embarrassment, disappointment and disgrace are powerful emotions that can lead us down a dark path if we let them. When we perceive that we have lost dignity, respect, or self-esteem, it is easy to lose hope, which leads to despair.Numbers 11:10-15Moses heard all the families standing in the doorways of their tents whining, and the Lord became extremely angry. Moses was also very aggravated. And Moses said to the Lord, “Why are you treating me, your servant, so harshly? Have mercy on me! What did I do to deserve the burden of all these people? . . . Where am I supposed to get meat for all these people? They keep whining to me, saying, ‘Give us meat to eat!’ I can’t carry all these people by myself! The load is far too heavy! If this is how you intend to treat me, just go ahead and kill me. Do me a favor and spare me this misery!”Heavy burdens and responsibilities weigh us down and wear us out. When burdens seem too heavy, they probably are. Don’t be afraid ask God and other people for help. We were never meant to carry our burdens alone.Psalm 35:12They repay me evil for good. I am sick with despair.Psalm 69:20Their insults have broken my heart, and I am in despair. If only one person would show some pity; if only one would turn and comfort me.Ephesians 3:13So please don’t lose heart because of my trials here. I am suffering for you, so you should feel honored.Other people can have a powerful influence over how we feel. Some people lift us up, but others constantly put us down, bringing us to despair.Psalm 40:11-12Lord, don’t hold back your tender mercies from me. Let your unfailing love and faithfulness always protect me. For troubles surround me—too many to count! My sins pile up so high I can’t see my way out. They outnumber the hairs on my head. I have lost all courage.Jonah 1:5Fearing for their lives, the desperate sailors shouted to their gods for help and threw the cargo overboard to lighten the ship. But all this time Jonah was sound asleep down in the hold.Acts 27:20The terrible storm raged for many days, blotting out the sun and the stars, until at last all hope was gone.Sometimes it can seem like the troubles and trials in our lives are too much for us, bringing despair.

Question 2

How can we keep from doing something reckless in our desperation?

Accepted Answer

2 Samuel 12:18-25Then on the seventh day the child died. David’s advisers were afraid to tell him. “He wouldn’t listen to reason while the child was ill,” they said. “What drastic thing will he do when we tell him the child is dead?” When David saw them whispering, he realized what had happened. “Is the child dead?” he asked. “Yes,” they replied, “he is dead.” Then David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions, and changed his clothes. He went to the Tabernacle and worshiped the Lord. After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate. His advisers were amazed. “We don’t understand you,” they told him. “While the child was still living, you wept and refused to eat. But now that the child is dead, you have stopped your mourning and are eating again.” David replied, “I fasted and wept while the child was alive, for I said, ‘Perhaps the Lord will be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But why should I fast when he is dead? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me.”Linger in the Lord’s presence. His wisdom and comfort keeps us from acting rashly.Judges 11:30-31, 34Jephthah made a vow to the Lord. He said, “If you give me victory over the Ammonites, I will give to the Lord whatever comes out of my house to meet me when I return in triumph. I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering.” . . . When Jephthah returned home to Mizpah, his daughter came out to meet him, playing on a tambourine and dancing for joy. She was his one and only child; he had no other sons or daughters.Proverbs 20:25Don’t trap yourself by making a rash promise to God and only later counting the cost.Ecclesiastes 5:2Don’t make rash promises, and don’t be hasty in bringing matters before God. After all, God is in heaven, and you are here on earth. So let your words be few.One of the wisest things we can do is to never make a rash promise in a moment of desperation. When we are desperate, our survival instincts take over; we think we are closer to doom than we really are and we are willing to make impulsive promises we would never have made otherwise.Psalm 42:5-6Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior and my God!Isaiah 8:17I will wait for the Lord, who has turned away from the descendants of Jacob. I will put my hope in him.We need to wait for the Lord’s solution, not our own. He is wiser than we are, with solutions for tomorrow, not just for this minute. While we wait, we can remember that he is good and will be with us in whatever comes next.Exodus 14:10-11As Pharaoh approached, the people of Israel looked up and panicked when they saw the Egyptians overtaking them. They cried out to the Lord, and they said to Moses, “Why did you bring us out here to die in the wilderness? Weren’t there enough graves for us in Egypt? What have you done to us? Why did you make us leave Egypt?”Our natural response when things go wrong is to panic. But we must fight the urge to panic and blame others. Otherwise, we may not only lose our cool, but also lose our friends and loved ones.Genesis 19:30-38Afterward Lot left Zoar because he was afraid of the people there, and he went to live in a cave in the mountains with his two daughters. One day the older daughter said to her sister, “There are no men left anywhere in this entire area, so we can’t get married like everyone else. And our father will soon be too old to have children. Come, let’s get him drunk with wine, and then we will have sex with him. That way we will preserve our family line through our father.” So that night they got him drunk with wine, and the older daughter went in and had intercourse with her father. He was unaware of her lying down or getting up again. . . . As a result, both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their own father.In times of desperation, any solution can seem like a good one. But we should never resort to any solution that leads to breaking God’s laws. We should always think and seek God’s wisdom before we act.Acts 19:34-38“Citizens of Ephesus,” [the mayor] said. . . . “You should stay calm and not do anything rash. You have brought these men here, but they have stolen nothing from the temple and have not spoken against our goddess. If Demetrius and the craftsmen have a case against them, the courts are in session and the officials can hear the case at once. Let them make formal charges.”We should respect the proper channels of authority at all times.Numbers 11:15“If this is how you intend to treat me, just go ahead and kill me. Do me a favor and spare me this misery!”1 Kings 19:3-5Elijah was afraid and fled for his life. He went to Beersheba, a town in Judah, and he left his servant there. Then he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors.”Job 7:15“I would rather be strangled—rather die than suffer like this.”Jonah 4:3“Just kill me now, Lord! I’d rather be dead than alive if what I predicted will not happen.”Deep despair may create a desire for our own death. But God’s plans never include taking your own life. We can take comfort in the fact that Moses, Elijah, Job, and Jonah had moments of great despair, yet God brought them out of their despair and used them in great ways. God loves each one of us as much as he loved these great heroes of the faith, and he will help us in our moments of despair too.

Question 3

How can God help me in my time of despair?

Accepted Answer

2 Samuel 22:7“But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I cried to my God for help. He heard me from his sanctuary; my cry reached his ears.”Psalm 55:17Morning, noon, and night I cry out in my distress, and the Lord hears my voice.Psalm 102:17He will listen to the prayers of the destitute. He will not reject their pleas.Psalm 130:1From the depths of despair, O Lord, I call for your help.1 Peter 5:7Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.God listens and cares about you, so never stop talking to him through prayer.Exodus 14:13-14Moses told the people, “Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”Psalm 39:7And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.Psalm 40:11Lord, don’t hold back your tender mercies from me. Let your unfailing love and faithfulness always protect me.Psalm 42:5, 11Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior. . . . Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again—my Savior and my God!Psalm 79:8Do not hold us guilty for the sins of our ancestors! Let your compassion quickly meet our needs, for we are on the brink of despair.Psalm 142:6Hear my cry, for I am very low. Rescue me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me.1 Corinthians 10:13The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.God rescues us from our enemies. He heals our hearts. He helps us avoid temptation. But he will not force himself on us. He wants us to acknowledge our need for his help. He will do these mighty works only if you allow him into your life by seeking him with all your heart and obeying his Word.Genesis 48:11Then Jacob said to Joseph, “I never thought I would see your face again, but now God has let me see your children, too!”Job 42:10-17When Job prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes. In fact, the Lord gave him twice as much as before! . . . So the Lord blessed Job in the second half of his life even more than in the beginning.John 11:1-4A man named Lazarus was sick. He lived in Bethany with his sisters, Mary and Martha. This is the Mary who later poured the expensive perfume on the Lord’s feet and wiped them with her hair. Her brother, Lazarus, was sick. So the two sisters sent a message to Jesus telling him, “Lord, your dear friend is very sick.” But when Jesus heard about it he said, “Lazarus’s sickness will not end in death. No, it happened for the glory of God so that the Son of God will receive glory from this.”God sends his help no matter how helpless the circumstances may seem. We worship the God of the impossible.Romans 8:26The Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.One of the things the Holy Spirit does is pray for us. When we cannot even form the words of our prayers, we can let the Holy Spirit pray for us. He can pray for us when we are too broken to pray for ourselves.Psalm 119:43, 49Do not snatch your word of truth from me, for your regulations are my only hope. . . . Remember your promise to me; it is my only hope.God gives us his Word, which full of his promises. This is where we find our hope. It is to our benefit that we read it.Isaiah 61:3To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his own glory.Jeremiah 29:11“I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”Jeremiah 31:15-17This is what the Lord says: “A cry is heard in Ramah—deep anguish and bitter weeping. Rachel weeps for her children, refusing to be comforted—for her children are gone.” But now this is what the Lord says: “Do not weep any longer, for I will reward you,” says the Lord. “Your children will come back to you from the distant land of the enemy. There is hope for your future,” says the Lord. “Your children will come again to their own land.”God offered a hope-filled future to his exiled people, and he ultimately fulfilled his promises to them by restoring them to their homeland. Ultimately God’s promises of restoration are fulfilled for all of us in Jesus. God is faithful, and we can depend on him.

Despair