Question 1

How should we deal with those who annoy or bother us?

Accepted Answer

1 Corinthians 13:4-5,7Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. . . . Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.God expects us to love those who annoy or bother us. These people present occasional or consistent opportunities to ask ourselves how we are doing in developing the “not irritable” component of authentic love. Dealing with this particular issue involves both praying for help and practicing responses that demonstrate love despite the frustration we might be feeling in the moment.Ephesians 4:32Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.We are commanded to be loving, kind, and forgiving toward one another. None of these qualities can function without the others. When you are tempted to feel annoyed by someone, consider how you want God to respond to your own weaknesses and failures.

Question 2

How should we deal with the frustration of watching the evil prosper?

Accepted Answer

Malachi 2:17You have wearied the Lord with your words. “How have we wearied him?” you ask. You have wearied him by saying that all who do evil are good in the Lord’s sight, and he is pleased with them. You have wearied him by asking, “Where is the God of justice?”Although it’s easy to complain when God seems to ignore others’ wrongdoing, we must be careful not to accuse God of being absent or unjust. We may not always understand what God is doing in situations that frustrate us, but we have every reason to trust that his plans are good.Psalm 37:7-9, 12-13Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper—it only leads to harm. For the wicked will be destroyed, but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land. . . . The wicked plot against the godly; they snarl at them in defiance. But the Lord just laughs, for he sees their day of judgment coming.Rejecting worry and anxiety when evil seems victorious isn’t easy. It requires our steadfast dependence on God and our willingness to wait for his resolution. None of our heated responses, including rage or anger, accomplishes God’s purposes (see James 1:20). And merely “being still” doesn’t help unless we are resting in the Lord’s presence. We need his fellowship as we respond to the world.Proverbs 24:19-20Don’t fret because of evildoers; don’t envy the wicked. For evil people have no future; the light of the wicked will be snuffed out.Frustration with the prosperity of the evil is a natural response that can lead to negative behavior. Two such behaviors are mentioned here: worry and envy. We must cancel these by remembering God’s eternal perspective. Whatever success evil appears to have can be of no lasting value.Jeremiah 17:9-12“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is? But I, the Lord, search all hearts and examine secret motives. I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.” Like a partridge that hatches eggs she has not laid, so are those who get their wealth by unjust means. At midlife they will lose their riches; in the end, they will become poor old fools. But we worship at your throne—eternal, high, and glorious!We are not to be bothered by the apparent earthly success of those who do not follow the Lord. The reward for these people is only more stuff. The reward we seek is more of God.We are to focus our attention on God, trusting his discernment and his judgment for today and tomorrow. Our feelings may urge us to settle for the world’s meager offerings; God asks us to trust him beyond our feelings.

Question 3

What is particularly bothersome in a marriage relationship?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 19:13A foolish child is a calamity to a father; a quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping.In marriage quarrelsomeness can go both ways, and it often does. When we address the quarrelsomeness of our spouses, we should ask, “How might I be provoking this?” People around us may become quarrelsome when we act disagreeable, fail to actively listen, or devalue their opinions. If we are unwilling to share responsibility for tension in a marriage relationship, this may be a sign that some responsibility is in fact ours to accept.Proverbs 27:15-16A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands.Since Proverbs was written as a collection of sage advice for a son, it makes sense that the spouse in question is a wife. But most of the wisdom in these observations goes both ways. A nagging, complaining spouse is annoying. We should all assess ourselves! If you’re a dripping faucet to your mate, turn off the dripping before your mate turns you off.

Question 4

How can we avoid bothering others?

Accepted Answer

Romans 12:18Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.We are called to peace in our relationships. The first step in avoiding bothering others is to ask, “In what ways do I irritate them?” Getting an answer to this may require asking them. You may discover a habit or characteristic that you can change. If so, do so. If your faith or your personality bothers someone, the problem may be with them. In either case, God instructs you to do what you can on your side to promote harmony with others.Galatians 5:25-26Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.Sensitivity to the Holy Spirit will require addressing the shortcomings God brings to our attention. This passage mentions several things we may need to change: the way we see ourselves as better than we are, the way we needlessly irritate others, and the way we deal with envy. The Holy Spirit wants to lead us away from each of these bad character traits.2 Thessalonians 3:11We hear that some of you are living idle lives, refusing to work and meddling in other people’s business.If we are in the habit of doing less than our share of work (or failing to even wonder what our share might be), we shouldn’t be surprised if others become irritated with us. This problem is exacerbated if we squander our free time by involving ourselves in everyone’s private affairs.1 Thessalonians 4:11Make it your goal to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we instructed you before.With the Holy Spirit’s help, we are to love others by being less concerned about the details of their private lives and more concerned about whatever good work God has given us.

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