How do I keep faithfulness in marriage from being boring?

Genesis 2:22-25Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man. “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’” This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one. Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame.

Recognizing God’s role in designing marriage can be a source of continual wonder and delight. Faithfulness in marriage involves a lifelong practice of “leaving” other relationships as secondary, “joining” or moving toward one’s spouse, and engaging in actions (like sex and time together) that “unite” the two of you together. Failing to intentionally engage in all the aspects of marriage can lead to boredom.

Proverbs 5:18-19Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. . . . May you always be captivated by her love.

God does not intend faithfulness in marriage to be boring. Real happiness comes when we commit ourselves to finding pleasure in the relationship God has given us. These words encourage a young man to experience the fullness of his wife’s blessings, which may take the form of trust, encouragement, and companionship. Many men will need to lower their guards of fear, insecurity, or shame to receive everything God intends to give them through their wives. Further, these words instruct a husband to take joy in his wife. She is made in the image of God and has agreed to be one with you for life—don’t lose the wonder of this incredible relationship!

Ephesians 5:22-28For wives, this means submit your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.

Both partners in marriage are assigned daunting roles, and when each is focused on their part, the atmosphere in the relationship is anything but boring. The wife takes on the challenge of submission, which doesn’t mean that she suppresses her will, wishes, or ideas, but rather that she will not ordinarily insist on her way when there is a clash of ideas. The husband is called to love his wife and seek her good even when it may cost him everything. This calls him to think selflessly, to consider what is best for his wife, and to honor and care for her just as he would care for himself.