Question 1

How can I know what is appropriate?

Accepted Answer

Psalm 19:7The instructions of the Lord are perfect, reviving the soul. The decrees of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.Psalm 25:8-9The Lord is good and does what is right; he shows the proper path to those who go astray. He leads the humble in doing right, teaching them his way.Psalm 37:30The godly offer good counsel; they teach right from wrong.Proverbs 1:3Their [the parables’] purpose is to teach people to live disciplined and successful lives, to help them do what is right, just, and fair.Proverbs 16:1We can make our own plans, but the Lord gives the right answer.Ecclesiastes 10:2A wise person chooses the right road; a fool takes the wrong one.Romans 2:15They demonstrate that God’s law is written in their hearts, for their own conscience and thoughts either accuse them or tell them they are doing right.Colossians 3:16Let the message about Christ, in all its richness, fill your lives. Teach and counsel each other with all the wisdom he gives. Sing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs to God with thankful hearts.2 Timothy 3:16All Scripture is inspired by God and is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right.James 1:5If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.1 John 2:27You have received the Holy Spirit, and he lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true—it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ.God is the generous, unselfish source of wisdom. He has made his wisdom available to us to help us make appropriate choices. He shares his wisdom with us through Jesus, the Holy Spirit, Scripture, our own consciences, and the godly advice of others. The more closely we walk with God, the more appropriate choices we will make. If we saturate ourselves in Scripture, prayer, and Christian fellowship, we usually know the appropriate response to make or action to take.

Question 2

How can I know what is inappropriate?

Accepted Answer

Romans 14:20-23Don’t tear apart the work of God over what you eat. Remember, all foods are acceptable, but it is wrong to eat something if it makes another person stumble. . . . You may believe there’s nothing wrong with what you are doing, but keep it between yourself and God. Blessed are those who don’t feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right. But if you have doubts about whether or not you should eat something, you are sinning if you go ahead and do it. For you are not following your convictions. If you do anything you believe is not right, you are sinning.1 Corinthians 6:12You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything.1 Corinthians 8:9-13You must be careful so that your freedom does not cause others with a weaker conscience to stumble. For if others see you—with your “superior knowledge”—eating in the temple of an idol, won’t they be encouraged to violate their conscience by eating food that has been offered to an idol? So because of your superior knowledge, a weak believer for whom Christ died will be destroyed. And when you sin against other believers by encouraging them to do something they believe is wrong, you are sinning against Christ. So if what I eat causes another believer to sin, I will never eat meat again as long as I live—for I don’t want to cause another believer to stumble.2 Corinthians 6:3We live in such a way that no one will stumble because of us, and no one will find fault with our ministry.Hebrews 12:13Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.1 John 2:10Anyone who loves a fellow believer is living in the light and does not cause others to stumble.To determine the appropriateness of a response or action, we should ask these questions: Will this choice draw us closer to God or move us a step away from him? Will this choice draw another person closer to God or further away from him? The answers will determine the appropriateness or inappropriateness of a choice.

Question 3

What thoughts are appropriate?

Accepted Answer

Matthew 5:27-28“You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’ But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”Romans 12:2Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.Philippians 4:8Now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.Appropriate thoughts honor God and are consistent with his Word. Inappropriate thoughts lead us away from God and the Word, including lust, envy, and hatred. They usually focus on selfish, sinful behavior. We should tap into God’s transforming power to concentrate on appropriate thoughts and to purge inappropriate thoughts from our minds. To focus on God and stay away from anything, particularly visual images that negatively affect our thoughts, will take daily discipline. When we are focused on Christ, we have little room for inappropriate thoughts and behavior.

Question 4

What is appropriate behavior?

Accepted Answer

Proverbs 21:3The Lord is more pleased when we do what is right and just than when we offer him sacrifices.Galatians 1:10Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.1 Thessalonians 4:1Finally, dear brothers and sisters, we urge you in the name of the Lord Jesus to live in a way that pleases God, as we have taught you. You live this way already, and we encourage you to do so even more.Appropriate behavior honors and obeys God and is motivated by a desire to please him.Romans 13:13Because we belong to the day, we must live decent lives for all to see. Don’t participate in the darkness of wild parties and drunkenness, or in sexual promiscuity and immoral living, or in quarreling and jealousy.Titus 3:8This is a trustworthy saying, and I want you to insist on these teachings so that all who trust in God will devote themselves to doing good. These teachings are good and beneficial for everyone.Appropriate behavior is good and beneficial for everyone. Behavior that is right and pleasing in God’s sight is appropriate behavior.

Question 5

What is appropriate speech?

Accepted Answer

1 Samuel 3:19As Samuel grew up, the Lord was with him, and everything Samuel said proved to be reliable.Psalm 19:14May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.Proverbs 10:19Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.Proverbs 11:9With their words, the godless destroy their friends, but knowledge will rescue the righteous.Proverbs 12:18Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.Proverbs 15:23Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time!Proverbs 16:23From a wise mind comes wise speech; the words of the wise are persuasive.Proverbs 20:15Wise words are more valuable than much gold and many rubies.Proverbs 17:27A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.Proverbs 31:26When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.Ecclesiastes 9:17Better to hear the quiet words of a wise person than the shouts of a foolish king.1 Peter 3:9Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.Appropriate speech is rich in quality, sometimes scarce in quantity, and timely in delivery. By choosing appropriate words, even in response to the inappropriate words of another, we can save friendships, bring healing, and give and receive blessings.

Question 6

What is appropriate in our relationships?

Accepted Answer

Mark 12:29-31Jesus replied, “The most important commandment is this: ‘Listen, O Israel! The Lord our God is the one and only Lord. And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.’ The second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ No other commandment is greater than these.”All of our relationships should be governed by our love for God and our love for one another.1 Corinthians 10:24Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others.1 Corinthians 10:33I, too, try to please everyone in everything I do. I don’t just do what is best for me; I do what is best for others so that many may be saved.We should unselfishly and regularly think of others—both Christians and non-Christians.Psalm 106:3There is joy for those who deal justly with others and always do what is right.2 Corinthians 7:15Now he cares for you more than ever when he remembers the way all of you obeyed him and welcomed him with such fear and deep respect.3 John 1:6They have told the church here of your loving friendship. Please continue providing for such teachers in a manner that pleases God.We should deal justly with one another. Our relationships should be full of loving deeds, respect, and deep concern for each other. God approves and honors loving service to others.Ephesians 5:33So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.Marriage relationships should reflect love and respect. We should reinforce our loving words with loving respect and honor.Romans 6:12-13Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires. Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God.1 Corinthians 6:20God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.We honor God with appropriate physical relationships, as outlined in his Word.