Is there a proper way to accuse someone? - Accusations - TouchPoints

Matthew 7:3-5“And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.”

John 8:7They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!”

Self-examination should precede our accusations. Once we recognize our own wrongs, we should be less hasty to accuse and more merciful in our judgement.

Matthew 18:15-17“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church.”

If we feel wronged by another believer, Jesus instructs us to go to that person first and try to work it out privately. This helps us gain an understanding of their motives. Don’t talk about it to everyone else first, which may cause undue damage to that person’s reputation. Only after that person has refused to listen should we involve another believer or two.

Deuteronomy 19:15“You must not convict anyone of a crime on the testimony of only one witness. The facts of the case must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.”

1 Timothy 5:19Do not listen to an accusation against an elder unless it is confirmed by two or three witnesses.

Multiple witnesses are usually necessary to determine the facts in a case. Each succeeding witness reinforces the credibility of former witnesses. Or sometimes, the succeeding witnesses quickly make it clear that the original accusation is not true.

Leviticus 19:11“Do not steal. Do not deceive or cheat one another.”

Proverbs 3:30Don’t pick a fight without reason, when no one has done you harm.

Proverbs 25:8We must be very careful not to accuse, judge, or cast doubt on someone unless we can prove it.

Proverbs 29:22An angry person starts fights; a hot-tempered person commits all kinds of sin.

John 18:23Jesus replied, “If I said anything wrong, you must prove it. But if I’m speaking the truth, why are you beating me?”

Philippians 2:3Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves.

James 3:14If you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying.

Don’t pick a fight without reason, when no one has done you harm. Before accusing someone else, make sure you double-check your own motives first. It’s possible you may be accusing someone out of anger or to cover for your own mistakes. Accusing someone falsely may leave lasting rumors, cheating that person of their good reputation.