Loving Well

CORE PRACTICE #46: Consistently demonstrate support for your spouse.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. —1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Lauren

“Why don’t you call them and apply for the job? Take the initiative and show that you are interested and well-qualified for the coaching position.”

That’s what I would say to Tony when he was an assistant coach in the NFL and was wondering why he hadn’t been contacted about a head-coaching position that had opened up. I could sense his frustration at not getting any interviews, or even phone calls from teams to gauge his interest and determine whether he might be a good candidate.

Tony reminded me that every team knew that he was out there. What he needed was for one of them to want to interview him for the job, and no amount of self-serving prompting on his part was going to get them there.

Of course, I didn’t have much control over NFL coaching opportunities. Okay, I had none. And so I just kept making sure Tony knew I believed in him and was 100 percent behind him. I also reminded him that he had a good job doing what he loved as an assistant coach and that we had each other, a wonderful family, and a God who loved us and would never fail us.

As far as I was concerned, a big part of my job description during those years of waiting was to support and encourage Tony. He has also been my chief supporter in times of difficulty, disappointment, and heartache.

That’s the lesson the apostle Paul paints in today’s verses. We’ve all heard these words read at weddings—and for good reason. It’s a worthy mission statement for our marriages. Love is not always sunshine and rainbows, but it is always patient and kind—especially in the difficult times. Love rejoices when the truth wins out, and I knew that one day my husband’s coaching ability would land him a top coaching job. In the meantime, I was going to do all I could do to help him keep his chin up and realize how special he was. After all, “love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

Adventure Application: Take a moment to reconsider what love is and what it is not, according to today’s Scripture passage. Discuss which one attribute you most want to develop so you can love your spouse better.