Lessons For Mom—and Mr. Mom

CORE PRACTICE #9: Look to God as the source for all the stamina and patience you need.

I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. —Philippians 4:12-13

TONY

I don’t know how Lauren accomplishes all that she does at home. I am continually amazed by her many abilities and stamina, which enable her to get through everything and come out on the other side of each day with a smile and sense of satisfaction. A lesser person—me, for example—might actually consider not even getting out of bed on a few of those days.

This became apparent to me not too long ago. I had caught glimpses of it before, but when I was coaching, I didn’t often experience Lauren’s daytime routine firsthand. Now, in my current role as a studio analyst with NBC Sports, I have some time during the week, even during football season, to help out (or at least try to).

Our young teenage son Jordan, whose congenital insensitivity to pain has caused him to have frequent fractures and other injuries, is a trouper. Recently he had to undergo a surgical procedure in New York, where he had to be hospitalized for four days. Lauren traveled with Jordan and remained with him at the hospital.

I was Mr. Mom to our other children who were at home, where I was tasked with picking up Lauren’s mantle of daily responsibilities and making sure things continued to run smoothly. Although I knew there would be quite a bit to do, I felt reasonably confident that with all of my life experiences, both personally and professionally, I would be fine.

It didn’t take me long—a few hours actually—to realize that I had drastically underestimated the task before me and overestimated my abilities to handle these responsibilities with the care, wisdom, patience, and energy required. Not only was I the scheduler and chauffeur, making sure everyone was where they were supposed to be when they were supposed to be there, but I also needed to fix the meals and help the younger children dress. I had to monitor and assist with homework—at least when I was competent enough to do so. And then there was the role of mediator over regular sibling disagreements. I had to juggle all this while holding our two youngest children, who always wanted to be held by Dad.

After just one day I was completely worn out, wondering how in the world Lauren managed. I was ready to call someone to take over the next day so I could have a brief leave of absence to recover. How was she able to do this day after day? How did she summon the energy and maintain an attitude of patience while making the decisions for our children’s individual and collective good, often on the fly?

Lauren does it through God’s consistent presence and power within her, as well as His overarching peace, which is always greater than whatever she faces. Lauren knows that what she does is all about what God is doing with and through her in the context of those responsibilities. She knows that not only is He walking with her and often talking her through many of these moments, but that He is also using all of her circumstances to grow her more into the woman He created her to be.

To Lauren, whatever she faces is not about her. It’s all about God working through her. She knows that her focus cannot be on herself and what is happening or will happen throughout the day, but on Him and what He is doing and will do for her—no matter what she faces.

With a similar focus, maybe I will do better the next time I get a chance to be Mr. Mom!

Adventure Application: Where do you need to redirect your focus from your own efforts, abilities, and shortcomings to God and His strength and power? How can you also encourage your spouse to look to the Lord for his or her needs?