Say No Occasionally

Say No Occasionally

Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

Do you ever feel as if you are on a runaway train racing toward a deep chasm? I do too, sometimes. But since I’ve learned stress will always be part of life, I now remind myself it is my hand on the throttle. And because my hand is controlling the speed, I have the power to control it. For me, that means I have to say no more often.

Of course, there are times when a family, neighborhood, or national emergency takes top priority and my slower schedule is thrust into high gear again. But for normal situations, giving myself permission not to join every good organization, chair every fund-raising drive, or organize every neighborhood party gives me time to enjoy truly important activities such as spending more time with the Lord, my family, and even myself.

I learned to say no a while ago, and it was a good thing because shortly after my get-a-backbone decision, a radio listener decided I sounded hospitable and sent me a letter to say she and her daughter were going to stay with me the next month when they visited my town. I replied immediately, saying that was impossible. Then I included the phone numbers of three or four inexpensive local motels and wished her God’s blessing. I did not offer any reason for my response. After all, had I said, “Oh, I’m sorry, but my place is too small,” she might have replied, “Oh, we’ll just sleep on the floor.”

Yes, there are times when we open our homes. Yes, there are times when some of our guests sleep on the floor. But we must be the ones who decide when those times will be. And giving ourselves permission to say no eliminates unnecessary stress. We don’t have to carry burdens not meant for us. —SANDRA

Lord, why do I feel as if nothing will be accomplished if I’m not in charge? Is that pride? Are my control issues that deep? Am I looking for praise? Help me to ask you which activities I should accept. And once I have done so, help me not to be afraid of the reactions of others.

I have read in Plato and Cicero sayings that are very wise and very beautiful; but I have never read in either of them: “Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden.” —SAINT AUGUSTINE (354–430), CHURCH FATHER