Imperfect Christmases

Imperfect Christmases

Let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them sing joyful praises forever. Psalm 5:11

Most families seem to have at least one member who complains about the holiday, complains about gift giving, complains about the relatives. That person, of course, just adds more tension to an already tense time. I heard of one woman who was so tired of her husband’s constant complaints about the meaninglessness of Christmas gifts that she took the money she normally would have spent on him and gave it to an inner-city children’s group.

On Christmas morning, her husband unwrapped his first present from her, complaining in his usual way, only to discover a picture of a smiling ten-year-old bundled up in a winter coat. Beneath the picture, his wife had written, “This little girl is wearing a new coat given in your name. Merry Christmas.”

Suddenly he was interested in opening his other gifts. He was especially pleased with the photo of two brothers clutching their first baseball gloves.

For other families, this is a sad time of year, not because of a relative’s grumpiness or disdain for commercialism but because, for whatever reason, there’s an empty chair at the table. I understand that feeling; my husband died just after Christmas when our children were ten and eight.

But even before grief softened our celebration, I had stopped trying to outdo the annual magazine holiday spreads. Now, each year I look forward to the celebration. I know I’ll never create the Perfect Christmas that still exists in my head. But by remembering the One whose birthday we’re celebrating, I can create the perfect Christmas in my heart. And for me, that’s a welcome accomplishment. —SANDRA

Lord, in the midst of my own celebration, help me to be sensitive to those whose hearts are heavy.

The joy that you give to others is the joy that comes back to you.

—JOHN GREENLEAF WHITTIER (1807–1892), AMERICAN POET