Hearing The Truth

Hearing the Truth

Consider the joy of those corrected by God! Do not despise the discipline of the Almighty when you sin. For though he wounds, he also bandages. He strikes, but his hands also heal.

Job 5:17-18

While it is important to lovingly tell the truth, it is equally important to hear the truth. Here are a few suggestions to help us deal with criticism and help us choose which comments to accept and which to discard:

Listen to the criticism all the way through. Don’t try to argue in the middle of it since doing so puts us into a defensive position and won’t allow us to hear anything that may be helpful.

Understand that not all criticism is accurate. Yes, criticism often (usually!) is offered in a mean spirit. But as we listen for any comments that ring true within our own spirits, we may find a helpful suggestion.

Take notes while another is offering criticism. Jotting down both the bothersome and the helpful phrases allows us to ask questions later about specific points. Besides, it wonderfully disarms the critic.

Take the criticism at face value. Try not to bring old childhood issues such as abandonment or fear into the situation.

Apply what is useful. Listen to good suggestions, but discard wrong perceptions and get on with your life. Wallowing in feelings of self-pity created by the criticism is defeating.

Bring a sense of humor to every criticism. Years ago, I taught high school English in the Detroit area. When I presented the classical myth of Helen of Troy, whose face supposedly launched a thousand ships, one student asked, “Does it bum you out to talk about her, since your face wouldn’t launch a rowboat?”

I chose to laugh rather than scold him. A grumpy response would have invited further challenges. By laughing at his barbed wit, I eliminated future verbal battles and won a new friend in that student. He, along with the others in the class, remembered my reaction long after they had forgotten his jab. —SANDRA

Lord, I don’t like hearing the truth when it’s painful. Help me to sort through critical comments, change what I need to, and let the rest go. You know the thinnest part about me is my skin, so help me not to carry resentment toward the one who offered the criticism.

Unused truth becomes as useless as an unused muscle.

—A. W. TOZER (1897–1963), AMERICAN PASTOR, PREACHER, AND AUTHOR