Be Honest

Be Honest

The Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. Romans 8:26

Debi had the life she had long dreamed about: She was married to a pastor and was the mother of a five-year-old son. Then one day her husband came home, slammed the door behind him, and said he was tired of being a minister. Debi stood stunned, waiting for an explanation. Instead, her husband added, “And I’m tired of being married,” and stormed upstairs to pack a suitcase.

For a while, Debi thought he would cool off, apologize, and come back home. Instead, she found herself in divorce court. Then her husband signed away all parental rights, to avoid paying child support, and disappeared. Of course, Debi had questions, wondered what had happened and what she could have done differently. But there were no answers, so Debi determined to get through this as she thought a good Christian woman should. Her I-can-do-this attitude rolled on for four years.

One Saturday afternoon, her then nine-year-old son ran in screaming from his baseball game. Debi turned to see him clutching his left hand as blood ran down his arm and dripped off his elbow. She lunged at him.

“What happened? Let me see your hand.”

But her son backed up. “No! You’ll hurt me.”

“Honey, I can’t help you if you won’t let me see it.”

Finally she was able to pull him into a chair and pry open his fingers. She expected to see bone and severed tendons. Instead, it was just a surface cut that bled a lot. She washed and bandaged the child’s hand, gave him a hug, and smiled as he ran back to his game.

As she put away the first-aid kit, she spoke aloud. “Wasn’t that something, Lord? There he was saying, ‘Help me,’ but he wouldn’t show me the hurt!”

In that quiet moment, it was just as if the Lord said, “I know, Debi. I know.” As she realized she had never shown anyone, not even the Lord, her hurting heart, she sank to the floor and sobbed out four years of pain.

Her healing had begun. —SANDRA

Lord, often the worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves. Help me to be honest with myself and with you. Help me to trust you with my broken heart.

Honesty is looking painful truths in the face.

—AUBREY THOMAS DE VERE (1814–1902), IRISH POET AND CRITIC