Self-imprisonment

Self-Imprisonment

Tamar

Read: 2 Samuel 13:20

The young woman hesitated, then signed and sealed the letter. As she walked out to the mailbox, she wondered if it would change anything. Her counselor had urged her to write a letter to her stepfather, telling him that she forgave him for the years of abuse. Would this really help her to move on with her life? She hoped so, but she didn’t feel any different yet. Shutting the mailbox, she took a deep breath. She didn’t know how her stepfather would react to the letter, but one thing she knew for certain—she was tired of being a prisoner of her past.

Did Tamar live as a prisoner of her past after being raped by her half brother? In that culture, loss of virginity was considered a disgrace. Tamar was probably no longer considered marriageable. To make matters worse, God forbade incestuous relationships (see Leviticus 20:17). The only information we have about Tamar’s later life is that she “lived as a desolate woman in her brother Absalom’s house” (2 Samuel 13:20). We can only wonder if Tamar ever forgave her brother for violating her so cruelly, and her father for not punishing the crime.

Tamar lived under the old law of “an eye for an eye” (see Leviticus 24:20), before Jesus taught that we should forgive anyone who hurts us. That command seems impossible when someone has committed a heinous crime against us or a loved one. While it is impossible in our human strength, God will give us the power to do it if we make the difficult choice to obey him in this area. Refusing to forgive someone who has wronged us hurts us more than the other person. It also hinders our prayers and stunts our spiritual growth. When we remember that God forgives us, we’ll be motivated to ask for his help in forgiving others.

The Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.

Colossians 3:13