Don’t Widen The Circle

If you argue your case with a neighbor,do not betray another man’s confidence,or he who hears it may shame youand you will never lose your bad reputation.

Proverbs 25:9-10 (NIV)

J. Vernon McGee said, “You could cause a great deal of trouble by criticizing your neighbor to the man down the street. If your neighbor has faults, go and talk to him personally.” Unfortunately, one of the things that we as women often do when we’re upset is widen the circle. It is really easy for us to talk to everyone around us except the person involved. Many new wives learn a painful lesson about this. She has a fight with her husband. In a moment of anger she tells her mom. Then later she makes up with her husband and all is forgotten—except by Mom. That young wife needs to keep her inner circle small and her mouth shut.

The truth is, many times when we are offended by a friend or someone at church or a relative, at the root of it is merely a big misunderstanding. I am sad to say I remember hurting a dear friend a while back. Several times when we were supposed to get together, I canceled at the last minute. She thought it meant that I did not value her friendship. Truthfully I was just overextended. I am thankful that my dear friend did not go around criticizing me to others. Now our friendship is restored, and I am more careful and hopefully more considerate.

Make It Personal . . . Live It Out!

Integrity is only proven true when it is tested. And it will surely be tested when you are in a conflict with someone. It is natural to want to build allies and rehearse your case. It is natural to share only your side of the issue. I’m ashamed to say, I’ve been guilty. But in the long run it downgrades people’s trust in you, not just your foe. Next time, in the heat of the moment, when the temptation tugs to share gory details, resist. Let the moment pass, and then rejoice in the victory.

One Year Bible Reading

Jeremiah 19:1–21:14; 1 Thessalonians 5:4-28; Psalm 82:1-8; Proverbs 25:9-10