The Shock Absorber Of The Spirit

If you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the Temple and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God.   Matthew 5:23-24

Putting things right with others comes before worship and prayer. Peter made this point about marriage: husbands should treat their wives well so that nothing will hinder their prayers (see 1 Peter 3:7). A man who is rude to his wife and then goes to a prayer meeting is wasting his time. His prayers will be ineffective. Spirituality must never be used as a cloak to cover up harsh attitudes toward others.

If you want to know peace in your heart, you have to approach it indirectly. It rests on the pillars of getting right with God and pursuing peace with others. That’s why Paul dealt with this matter of our relationships and attitudes to others before he spoke about prayer and the peace of God in our hearts (see Philippians 4:5-6).

One striking feature of American cars is the quality of the suspension. When I first drove our minivan, I remember thinking it was like floating on air. But after sixty thousand miles and countless potholes, the suspension is not quite so good.

My mechanic told me, “You might want to replace those shock absorbers. It will give you a smoother ride.” The shock absorbers provide some give between the road and the vehicle. They cushion the harshness of travel, and they play an important role in softening what otherwise would be an uncomfortable ride.

Gentleness is the shock absorber of the Spirit. We live in a harsh world, where there is a great deal of conflict, and when we travel over the potholes of life, we can easily become like the shock absorbers in my van—rigid, rusted, and with no give, transmitting the harshness we experience to other people.

One way to cultivate gentleness in a conflict is to think of every reasonable defense you possibly can for the other person’s behavior. Imagine yourself defending their position. Bend over backwards to identify something good in their actions or in their motives. You will be amazed how much this softens your spirit.

For further reading, see Matthew 5