What Fathers Should Know Best

Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged. Colossians 3:21

My father was always a part of my life, always involved in what his kids were doing. And though I doubt I’ve done that for my kids as well as he did for his, I’ve tried to follow his example. I strongly believe in the importance of a father’s role.

I worry about the vacuum left in our culture by absentee fathers. I know the obstacles can be enormous; a lot of men are divorced or have jobs that keep them on the road much of the time. It’s hard to balance meeting the family’s financial needs with meeting their emotional needs. I’ve had a lot of conversations with men recently, asking about how to determine God’s will for them in balancing jobs that provide for the family with responsibility to be around and involved with the parenting. As you know, I struggled with this for a few years myself.

And even when a man is in the home, he can become an “absentee father” by turning his kids over to the TV set or video games, or to other people. The children often get the leftovers of dad’s time. His goals are often good—to advance a career or to enjoy a social life. But an even better goal—to support and encourage his kids or simply be there at bedtime—goes unmet.

Those of us who are fathers need to be careful to not become absentee dads—at any level, whether by being away from home too much or by being unavailable when we’re there. Too many kids, especially young men and boys, are growing up without a male role model in the house. Our society often equates fatherhood with financial support, but it’s so much more. A father’s relationship with his daughter strongly influences her relationships with men, her sexual behavior, and her marriage. And a father’s relationship with his son strongly influences how the son behaves as a man. He learns to be a good husband and father by observing his own father.

If you’re a father, be there for your children. There is no better way to make a mark in this world, to shape the next generation, and to leave a lasting legacy than to show love and acceptance to your own kids. Be there as much as you can.

Uncommon Key > Never underestimate the importance of your role as a parent. Your involvement today can impact the course of your kids’ lives forever.

From the book