Resolving Differences With Grace

Resolving Differences with Grace

Don’t bother correcting mockers; they will only hate you. But correct the wise, and they will love you. Instruct the wise, and they will be even wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn even more. Proverbs 9:8-9

Pick up a newspaper, and you’ll find quite a few conflicts to read about. Or turn on a TV or radio talk show, and you’ll probably hear some pretty heated arguments. It’s human nature to let disagreements get personal, and too often people resort to name-calling, mockery, and personal attacks. We often assume that when someone disagrees with what we think, they are disapproving of who we are. Or maybe we just get frustrated at the opinions of others and lash out. Or we realize we’re wrong but aren’t secure enough to admit it. Whatever the reason, disagreements can turn into personal conflict very easily.

I don’t know many people who really like conflict, other than maybe a few people who like to bully others. But in normal circumstances, I don’t think we need to fear it. Conflict is really an opportunity to understand our differences. We have one perspective, someone else has another—and both perspectives, if understood, can be valuable. Sharing different ideas and perspectives—without letting the differences get personal—can benefit everyone involved.

If you find yourself in a conflict with someone else, approach it as a positive opportunity, even if the other person doesn’t see it that way yet. Agree to talk about it, and emphasize that you want to focus not on each other but on the issue. Acknowledge that having different perspectives can be healthy. Make it clear that you value the other person’s opinion and that you want a constructive resolution. Explore how you can get past the problem in a way that respects everyone involved. If you can focus on the principal interests, not the people, it can turn into a very constructive experience.

When you approach conflict this way, you’ll find it can be illuminating—a chance for all parties to grow or to see an issue more fully. If it’s handled with respect for others’ opinions and perspectives, it can have very positive results.

Uncommon Key > Approach conflict as an opportunity to learn something. It’s often a catalyst for positive change and the best way to grow in understanding.