No Mistaking Your Identity

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it. Psalm 139:14

As an NFL coach, I received performance evaluations every day—from multitudes of people, many of whom were completely unqualified to offer a valid critique. That’s how it is for anyone in the public eye, especially those in a performance-oriented field. Everyone thinks they know how the job should be done.

I decided long ago that I wouldn’t listen to all of the chatter on talk radio, but I would pay attention to some of the criticism from reputable sources. Of course, I put more stock in what my superiors, assistant coaches, and players said, but I would also analyze some of the comments from sportswriters to see what might be helpful. It’s important to listen to criticism if you want to improve at anything.

But I also decided long ago that I wouldn’t let any criticism affect my sense of who I am. When you understand the difference between who you are and what you do, you can handle criticism a lot better. I know I’m a child of God. He created me with certain strengths and limitations, and He knows about all of them. When people point out my strengths, it doesn’t make me proud, and when they point out my limitations, it doesn’t change my identity. I am, and always will be, a child of God.

That attitude had to be a conscious decision, because it’s easy to let others define us. It happens naturally if we aren’t intentional about remembering who we are. And when our “performance reviews” are negative—whether from our actual employers or from the unofficial commentators around us—it can be devastating. If we can’t separate what we do from who we are, we’ll be defined by the words of people who really aren’t qualified to shape our identities. And if their words are negative, our perception of ourselves takes a huge blow.

Remember that you are not your career or any other responsibility you have to perform. No matter what anyone else thinks, your relationship with God defines your identity. If you are His child, you cannot be shaken.

Uncommon Key > Only God is qualified to define your identity. Learn from others’ opinions, but refuse to let your identity be shaped by them. Learn to see yourself as God sees you.

From the book