Listening First

Listening First

You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. James 1:19-20

My father, Wilbur Dungy, always worked hard to impress this scriptural teaching upon me. He was a man of few words by nature anyway, but I know he believed that the more he listened, the more he learned, which benefited him as a teacher and pleased him as a lifelong learner. In addition, he wanted to give himself an opportunity to process information before he spoke. And so the more he listened and thought through what he heard in any setting, the more likely he could bring wisdom to the situation by responding intelligently and thoughtfully, rather than simply reacting in the emotion of the moment.

I think I learned well from my dad. People told me that when they saw me on television during games, I was rarely the animated coach they were used to seeing. The fact is, most of the time on the sidelines I was listening—to coaches, players, and even to officials—trying to take in information to plot our next move.

As for getting angry, I tried to keep that in check as well. As one coach shared with me, he once got so angry he was yelling at the officials and ran out of time to call his next play, let alone give any thought to what play to call before calling it. My dad always asked me, “What can you do to make the situation better?” On the football field, I could remain angry about what just happened, but the game goes on. I needed to use the information I had to make the next outcome better.

Do you need to improve your listening skills? It’s one of the least-used skills that people have. Learn to know when you should stop talking and start listening.

Uncommon Key > Communication is made up of talking and listening, listening and talking. Do less talking—and more listening—today.